Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing the Melbourne International
Comedy Festival Roadshow. The comedians which were (not
hungover/prepared to come to Queensland) were Harley Breen, Mark
Watson, Sam Simmons and Fiona O’Loughlin and three out of four were
really good.

• I liked Harley, he was pretty good and then
  he sung the "Gummi Bears" theme song towards the end of his routine as
  a political song, which won me over.
• Mark is my new future
  husband (even though he is already married) he talked really fast, and
  seemed to have all this nervous energy, but he was completely hilarious
  and having a Welsh accent makes everything at least one hundred times
  funnier.
• Sam is just not my cup of tea. His angle was ‘weird
  comedy’ and I like weird, random stuff, but he just wasn’t very funny.
  He did lots of songs, one part about private school boy’s collars being
  used as sundials was funny. I laughed, but my stomach muscles didn’t
  ache.
• Last but definitely not least was Fiona, I really
  didn’t expect her to be there, just because she’s one of Australia’s
  best comediennes. She was SO funny, I always thought she was really
  good on TV, but she is awesome on stage. She always talks about her
  family, but she did stuff I had never heard before, which was really
  good.

The best performance however, was the one from the
guy seated beside me. If anyone has ever been to a comedy event, there
is always the main heckler who sits a few rows from the stage, speaks
loud enough to be heard by the comedian on stage, and provides fodder
for the comedian to using to pay out on that person. Occasionally,
there is the second heckler who sits just a little bit too far away
from the stage to be heard, is not funny, and will still yell out
anyways. I had that guy.

He was one of those people who did not
observe arm rest etiquette either, so we got off to a bad start. I
spent most of the time with his elbow nestled between my rib bones
which was entirely too intimate for someone I have not even spoken to
before. I used up the whole arm rest and then some of my space, every
time he’d move I’d try and reclaim a part of the arm rest, but it was
in vain. He would call out at non-calling-out times and when he did it
was either irrelevant or completely not funny. Leave it to number one
heckler, buddy. I noticed he was drinking something the whole time, and
at intermission i noticed an empty can of bourbon and coke under the
seat (because it was ok to leave cans under the seat, being a THEATRE
and all). After intermission, and 3 more bourbons it seems, he was in
even finer form. Louder, less funny, and generally more annoying.
Towards the end of Sam’s performance he was unusually quiet and then
during Fiona I noticed this heavy, rhythmic breathing coming from his
way. Yes, Ladies and Gentleman, our favourite little heckler was all
tuckered out and having a sleep.

Personally, if I was his
girlfriend (I assume that’s who the girl he was with with) I would have
left him there. How rude to fall asleep during someone’s performance,
let alone when you are out in public with your girlfriend. We were
behind them as we walked to the car, and she didn’t even yell at him
once they were outside. She’s way too nice.

Although it has only been three weeks, being around Kindergarteners
full time is making me into one of those weird Early Childhood teachers
(think the teacher in Billy Maddison) so these are the reason I need to go back to uni:

• I
  need to hear good music again, normally when I have a song pop into my
  head, it will be whatever is currently on high rotation on Triple J, as
  it is my station of choice for the peak hour run to uni. Now I got to
  school in fifteen minutes, I am not absorbing the songs, and as a
  result found myself singing "My lovely lycra can stretch and relax,
  stretch and relax, stretch and relax, my lovely lycra can stretch and
  relax, stretch and re-la-ha-ha-hax" in the shower the other day, and
  today I have been humming "Clap, Clap, Clap Your Hands". I don’t mind
  knowing these songs, but I can’t be singing them, it’s just not on.
• I
  have touched so many things I have never wanted to have anything to do
  with – dirty noses, wet pants, sweaty, dirty feet, used tissues, split
  yoghurt, to name but a few. It makes no difference if I am wearing
  gloves or not, it’s still psychologically scaring.
• I want to
  have conversations with people who don’t tell me what they have on
  their lunch, what their mum is doing today, or constantly remind me
  that "I’m this many"

Don’t get me wrong, I am filled with
dread at the thought of returning to the obscene about of uni
assessment I have due, and going back to work. Prac has been a hoot,
and I’ve had such good teachers, I just don’t think I enjoy having kids
which are quite so young, I think the first three grades of Primary
School are more ‘me’.

Semester two timetables will be released
at the beginning of June, I’ve had a look and it looks like I may be
able to squash everything into just two days (three really, but one day
is just a lecture, and I have never been one for lectures) so two days
will be a delightful change from five days. I don’t really want to work
anymore hours though. I’ll be doing one fourth year subject, one third
year subject and two second year subjects so I think it might be good
to have a spare day during the week.

Well, rather than blog about my life at the moment (Kindy. Write
lessons. Sleep. Repeat. See it would be a very short entry) I decided
to accept Audrey’s tag and do a meme.

• I
  can’t eat pizza without having a glass of milk to drink with it. I love
  the combination, drinking Coke with Pizza destroys two perfectly good
  things. Most people don’t know my dirty milk habits, so I am never able
  to eat pizza with friends because I can’t bear the idea of eating it
  without having milk.
• Ever since I can
  remember, I have always thought I would be ‘discovered’. I never got so
  far as to think about what I might get discovered for, I’ve just always
  thought I’ve been destined for greatness. for one reason or another.
  (It’s really not as arrogant as it sounds, more a kind of hopeless ‘Hating Alison Ashley’, Erica Yurken, kind of assumption of fame.)
• I hate
  being disappointed, I am almost pedantic about avoiding disappointment.
  I hate seeing movies which look really promising and turn out being
  crap. I can’t stand ordering food which sounds really yummy and it
  being ordinary. I cannot stand being told that something will happen
  and for the plans to fall through.
• I
  am obsessed with having a clean face, hands and feet and I cannot go to
  sleep until I feel ‘clean’. I could be covered in mud, and as long as I
  could wash my face, hands and feet, everything would be peachy, but it
  is impossible for me to contemplate sleeping with dusty feet, unwashed
  hands or a face full of makeup.
• I am
  scared of advertisements which play normal type scenes with olden-days
  music. Particularly the ad which was on about a year ago, I think
  advertising Melbourne, which had a guy skipping through a vineyard (I
  think, I could never bear to actually watch it) and it had a song
  playing which went "Run Rabbit, Run Rabbit, Run, Run, Run…". It was a
  cheery sort of song, but the guy just looked so scary skipping by
  himself. It was just a really scary ad…..
• I
  have never been scared of things in my cupboards or hiding under my
  bed, but I can’t sleep if my toes aren’t covered nor can I look outside
  if I wake up during the night to go to the bathroom or something. I’ve
  always had a really (over) active imagination (see point 2) and it was
  always the idea of what I might see which scared me more than anything I have ever seen outside at night.

Hmmmm.
I really am rather odd, I encourage everyone to do this meme, just so
you can feel a bit unsettled once you realize how many weird habits you
really have. Seeing how many obsession based habits I have makes me
wonder if I really might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Today on Jay and the Doctor
on Triple J, they had the Space Cowboy. I have reason to suspect he is
neither from space, or a cowboy, but let’s move on. The Space Cowboy
had the ‘ability;’ to transmit information telepathically, read minds
and be otherwise mystical. For his first task, he asked Jay(or the
Doctor, can’t remember) to receive a figure he’d send in his mind, he
started off by telling them it was a square, then realized that was a
bad idea, and changed his mind to send another figure. The figure was 2
shapes, one within another. Now, boys and girls, you tell me, what are
the two other shapes one would think of? That’s right, a circle and a
triangle. So surprise surprise, the figure which was transmitted was a
circle enclosed in a triangle. How truly mystical.

He went on to
transmit a 3 digit number, which he got correct. One of the guys asked
about the probability of them actually just guessing the correct
number, but this idea was quickly poo pahed by the Space Cowboy, he
deals only in mind tricks, probability has no place in his world.

For
his finale, he asked a caller to imagine a shape or imagine and
transmit it to him, telepathically. The Space Cowboy received a figure.
Was it made of straight lines? Yes. Does it have between four or six
sides? Yes. Is it a box with 2 lines coming out? No. Wait, he’ll
receive it again. Is he sure it’s not a box with two lines coming out?
Yes. Is it a figure like a house? No. What was the figure? A hexagon.
Oh well, laments Space Cowboy, he got the number of sides almost right.

No,
Space Cowboy, you lose at being mystical. I could have done a better
job than that. So now that I have discovered I am at least as mystical
and magical as the Space Cowboy, I am now Space Jen, and am available
to do weddings and birthday parties, even breakfast radio shows. Pick a
number between one and ten, dear readers. The number is seven. I know
that not because I am mystical, but because it’s the number everyone
choose. Choose between one and twenty it’s almost always 13, and one
and thirty it’s twenty five. That’s just the rules.

Poo to Space Cowboy, but hooray for Jay and the Doctor!

Today
at Kindy I slammed my finger in the shed door, and made a boy cry
because I told him that his sunscreen was really his. (It had his name
on it, I showed him but he refused to believe me and got very upset,
life’s tough, kid) I also spend most of the day supervising the
wrapping paper decoration table, and later the wrapping table. Lets
just say, I know why Kindergarteners do not man the gift wrapping
tables at shopping centers at Christmas time (aside from the fact it
would be illegal and all).

I decided my blog was a bit crap, so I fancied it up a bit. I also
added a lot more sites to my links list, I read a huge amount of
different blogs every day, but for the most part, I don’t comment. I
figured I would like to know if anyone reads my blog, so I will make
the effort to comment on the ones I read, fairs fair.

At the
risk of sounding like a dirty hippy, I want to rave about some flower
essences I bought today. Uni is starting to wear thin, and so are my
coping strategies, so I have found it becoming just a bit much in
recent weeks and whilst most of the stress is over for the moment, I
have found myself in an almost blind panic over small things and
realize my mind just needs to settle down. So rather than go to a
doctor and either have to start therapy (which I can’t afford) or take
medication (which Iwould prefer not to do) I figured I would give a
natural therapy a go, just to see what all the fuss it about.

This
may as well be named "Week at the beach in a bottle". Just seven drops
under my tongue at around 1:00pm and I was drifting through the
afternoon. I know it wasn’t just me imagining an effect because when I
was driving over to the ex Boy’s house this afternoon, for the first
time since it all ended, I was not overcome by the extreme urge to
throw up due to nervousness, but merely felt a few stomach flip flops,
a huge improvement. I felt the exact same way I did after a week at
Caloundra, and anything legal which can replicate that mood is worth
talking about. I also got a free Mist Essence
which I have doused my car in, and my bedroom will soon receive the
same treatment. It smells very beautiful and very calming, I am almost
overcome with the urge to drive to Byron Bay and become a bongo drummer
but I’ll have to finish uni first.

They have flower remedies for just about everything. Feeling a bit drab in your dress sense? Try some Five Corners. In fear of a psychic attack? Grey Spider Flower will sort you out. They aren’t too expensive, around $15 for 30 ml for the combo essences,
so if you are looking for a little bit of help with an issue, I think
it is worth considering. You can even use it on animals too.

Well, enough of my product reviews, I am off to tweak settings and otherwise spiffy up my blog.

I survived my first week of prac. The kids are on the most part lovely,
my Teacher and her Aide are really nice, and the centre is good as
well. My plan I set out in my previous post went more like this:

Tuesday
6:30am – Wake up
7:40am – Leave for School
8:00am – Almost late for school
3:30pm – Come home
4:00pm – Take Berocca and Sudafed, have a shower
6:30pm – Dinner
7:15pm – In bed

I
just died on Tuesday night, I caught some horrible cold and it’s just
wiped me out, I’ve come home and crashed most nights, starting to feel
better now though, but needless to say I did not make it to the gym. I
didn’t realize earlier, but being at school is really like a decent
work out. I spend a lot of time putting up, and packing away equipment,
picking up kids, dancing around, walking around and squatting down so
after a few hours of that, you can feel the burn

I don’t have anything more interesting to say unfortunately, my craft books arrive in a few weeks, I’m so excited!

I went to the dog show today, so many dogs of all breeds, I got to pat
two Pugs, Emma and Jazz, and hold them on their leashes. I haven’t held
a dog’s leash for YEARS, it felt really strange. I just adore Pugs,
they are so cute, and I love the way they sniff and snort, I can’t wait
to get one! They were so friendly and the younger one, Jazz, had such a
soft face and ears.

I’ve had a look at Deb‘s
site today, and she’s been really organized and drawn up a plan of
action. I decided to take some inspiration from her, and do a plan
myself. For the next 4 weeks, I will be having the life of a real
adult, 4 weeks of full time work, so I should get myself organized
whilst I have the gift of a set routine. So my plan is as follows:

6am: Wake up- go to the gym for 30 – 45 minutes.

6:45am: Come home, shower, breakfast.

7:40am: Leave for Kindy

8:00am – 3:30pm – Kindy

4:00pm – Gym if I don’t go in the morning

5:00pm – Writing up/Planning for tomorrow

6:30pm – Dinner

7:00pm – 10:00pm ish – TV, more Kindy work, other stuff. Hopefully go to sleep right away when I get to bed.

I
won’t go to the gym tomorrow morning, just to give myself one day to
get into the routine of going to school. I really really hope going to
the gym will make me sleep better, I have found it so hard to go to
sleep lately, like my brain just won’t stop. I also much prefer going
to the gym in the mornings, and I’m a much better morning person, so I
hope to make my gym outings mornings only, but I might do an afternoon
if I still have energy flowing from school.

Finally, I found this survey, so because I’m in a survey sort of mood, I thought I might do it:

Instructions:
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the
following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the
answer to the question. NO CHEATING.
( I just used the shuffle
function in iTunes, because it’s right here and has all the songs on my
ipod anyways, but I did not ask there questions aloud, I’m already
feeling crazy enough.)

How does the world see me?
It’s Only Natural- Crowded House: I guess that makes sense?

Will I have a happy life?
Good People – Jack Johnson: Sounds Promising.

What do my friends really think of me?
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing – Jack Johnson: Could be interpreting many way, not sure how I should take it?

Do people secretly lust after me?
Something So Strong – Crowded House: Hmmm, I like the sounds of this

How can I make myself happy?
Breakdown – Jack Johnson: The way I’m feeling at the moment, this could be scarily accurate.

What should I do with my life?
Weather With You- Crowded House: I should be a weather lady? I suppose there are worse jobs.

Will I ever have children?
Better together – Jack Johnson: I agree, I’d be much better as a couple than a family.

What is some good advice for me?
4Ever – The Veronicas: Is that a hint I should be more long term focused, to look at the big picture? Probably good advice.

How will I be remembered?
Free – Donovan Frankenreiter: Sounds good.

What is my signature dancing song?
Thinking in Reverse – The Dissociatives: I don’t dance, so this would be pretty accurate.

What do I think my current theme song is?
We’re Much Preferred Customers – The Dissociatives: Again, accurate.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Banana Pancakes – Jack Johnson: Does that means everyone thinks I’m a fatty?

What song will play at my funeral?
Somewhere Down the Barrel – The Dissociatives: Love the song, not sure if it’s good for a funeral.

What type of men/women do I like?
Horror with Eyeballs – The Dissociatives: LOL! I suppose it could be seen that way

What is my day going to be like?
Lifting the Veil from the Braille – The Dissociatives: I LOVE this song, I’d be happy if all my days were like this!

Verdict: Probably the strangest survey I’ve done, but it was interesting. Please feel free to take it and do it yourselves