Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

Ok, I know a lot of other bloggers watch Big Brother consistently, but I normally only watch the end of the eviction shows on Sundays, waiting for Law and Order.
Last night I saw David (one of the few I know the names of) after he
was evicted. He was saying how he had to sing the Belinda Carisle song
"Dancing with you in the summer rain" while be was in the house, for
the boy who was not quite his boyfriend before he went in the house.

I
have to admit, when they played the cover of the song, and his
boyfriend (who was not quite his boyfriend) came out and they were
loving on each other, I got a little tear. It was so cute, and he
waited for him, that’s the sweetest thing ever.

I have been a
flame dame since way back, I love gay boys, they are just so cute. I
actually don’t have any close gay friends at the moment, but I would be
quite partial to a gay best friend again, it was go much fun (when
there wasn’t so much drama-queen-ness). I really like David, he’s quite
good looking, and I normally hate boys with long hair, and he just
seems like quite a genuinely nice person.

I will be curious to
see who wins tonight. Will it be set up so Camilla wins to smooth over
the whole turkeyslap gate saga, or will the other guy (Jamie?) win. I
saw the evitcton where his girlfriend got kicked off, I love they fact
they are both such Barbies, and he always has a permanently bewildered
look on his face.

I saw the most…perfect girl on the bus this
morning. She has long, pure white blonde hair, which was teased into a
big quiff, a perfectly made up face, manicured nails and moisturised
hands, lovely clothes, tiny hips and she seemed genuinely oblivious to
the fact the entire bus was staring at her. I was kind of disappointed
when she hopped off at Southbank because I had nothing interesting to
look at, but when I came home from work early today, she was on my same
bus. How strange.

I also found out more about Bestie’s possible
African adventures. Bestie Partner has been offered FOUR jobs in
Africa, right inbetween Sierra Leone and the Ivory Coast. Thankfully,
Bestie’s Dad said no, you can’t go to Africa, so hopefully that is
sorted. She’s much too nice, she could get kidnapped (her Dad’s
suggestion) or eaten by lions and tigers (my suggestion). Bestie
Partner’s company may consider flying him in and out of Africa if they
relocate to London, so Bestie has begged me to come live with her
there, if things turn out that way. I told her when I graduate I can do
it, I don’t really have anyone keeping me in Brisbane, or Australia, so
why not live in a strange city with my best friend?

Well my assignment is done and handed in. I don’t think it’s a seven but I am still quite happy with it.

I have been looking on Craftster to see what other people are doing with PMC. I found this jeweler via a site about some jeweler awards. She is so my new favourite person, her work is so amazing and she lives on the Sunshine Coast.  For an engagement ring, I would so commission her. I love the spinning ring ( it actually spins around, that is so cool! I think I would choose maybe white and yellow diamonds though) and the Morse code ring.

Does
anyone else have ideas about their wedding or engagement thought out,
even if there is no real need to? A friend of mine got married this
year, another one just recently got engaged and then Bestie will be
proposed to at any moment, so it’s not entirely random that I should be thinking of it. Right?

Well
regardless of all that, I will have an Eva Martin engagement ring, and
I think I’d really like to wear a short, party dress type wedding gown
and I would love to get married at Couran Cove Resort.
I would even be ok with just being proposed to at Couran Cove. It’s the
best place in the entire world, I went their for a friend’s 21st
weekend. It was all expenses paid, it must have cost her thousands of
dollars but it’s just such an amazing place, I love
it! It’s incredibly expensive, and I could never afford to go myself
(or justify spending that amount of money on a holiday spent less than
an hour from my house).

So, if anyone out there was considering
a proposal it’s all been laid out for you. I guess if I was to ever be
swept off my feet it will be good that I have been so organised in
planning what I want. Well, you never know…

I have been working on my assignment for the last six or so hours.
Working might not be the most appropriate word, I sit on the lounge
with my laptop and half watch TV, and then type something when I have a
good idea. The good ideas have now run out and my eyes are staring to
sting from staring at a screen so long.

For all intents and
purposes, most of the assignment is done. I just have to finish of my
three 100 word rationales (what can you even SAY in 100 words? It takes
me 100 words to begin a sentence) and then do my reference list, which
has become an annotated bibliography because I’m scouting for extra
marks.

While I was looking for a couple of references, I was on
the uni library website and I happened across a library website with
links to all these resources which will pretty much do
this assignment for me. It’s never been mentioned by our lecturer or
tutors, so I think it’s kind of a test to see which students actually
look for information and which just go the most obvious places. It’s
probably not anything like, but I like to think I’m an assignment ninja
who has beat the system. I kind of really want to get another seven.
I’ve not had that much to do with seven’s before, but doing perfectly
is kind of addictive.

I am thinking I am not going to do much
more of my assignment tonight, I’m starting to get a bit brain dead
after staring at a screen for so long, I might go have a shower and
read some text books in bed. I know, I know, I should settle down this
party lifestyle is going to catch up with me. It can never be said I
don’t know how to have a good time.

P.S I am so so overdue to
get drunk, I haven’t had a drink since February. I’m a firm believer of
a big session at the end of every semester to all the stress, ready for
the new one.

P.P.S Bestie texted me this morning, her partner
has been offered a job in Africa! No, No, No, No! I can only just bear
her to be a five hour flight away, Africa does not work for me. I know
it’s completely selfish of me to not want her to go, but too bad. I’ve
never told her what to do, even when she has asked for my opinion, but
this time I told her she can’t go. I’d just die if she was half the
world away.

Right now, it seems.

The rather delightful Adam
has bestowed upon me the honor of being interviewed. I have thirteen
comments on my last blog (granted five were my own, but that’s still
eight who aren’t from me). It’s all so terribly exciting, I feel
famous! You should all go and visit Adam and see how truly tedious I
can be one on one.

I love Thursdays. ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and
‘My Name is Earl’ is on, I get to finish work at four on Thursdays and
every second Thursday is pay day. All in all, a very good day of the
week. Thursdays are normally fairly quiet at work, and I have noticed
when I am bored at work I tend to drink water. Lots of water, two
litres in around four hours today. I start drinking at lunchtime, when
I have soup, and keep drinking until I finish. This means between
lunchtime and when I go home I have to go to the bathroom about fifteen
million times. I try to drink less, but then I get bored and pick up my
water bottle and I don’t even realise. I guess I should be thankful for
such healthy kidneys.

I was so tempted to book flights to Osaka
last night. JetStar had return flights from $490, which a truly amazing
price. Sensibility prevailed and I did not add to my credit card debt.
I would rather chew my own arm off than have anything to do with
domestic JetStar, but getting international flights for that price
without having to swallow any heroin filled condoms or escorting any
package through customs would be awesome.

I am going to make
myself do some work on my assignment now. Mostly just sorting out the
formatting. I am anal about format so if I screw around with it now, my
assignment time on the weekend will be much more productive.

I did my presentation today at uni. Given that the girl I worked with
and I only had six days to prepare, I was happy with the amount of
research and the preparation we had done. She was fairly nervous about
it all, but we had back up plans so it was all fine. I don’t enjoy
doing presentations by being a teacher, or learning to be one, you
pretty much have to get over it.

My theory has become to do the
preparation work, and then just trust my own skills and instinct. This
time I actually did that, and I did get nervous. I knew that we knew
the topic inside and out, we had a good seminar, we had back up plans,
everything was sorted.

Turns out, I am in fact, a genius. The
comments "The best first week presentation ever!" and "How can I not
give you a 7" were mentioned by our tutor. It went awesomely, people
from the class come up afterwards to tell us how impressed they were
and wanted us to explain other parts of the topic to them. Best
presentation ever!

I
wish I could bottle the way I felt after it, because it’s the best I
have ever felt. I had no doubt in my mind that it would be fine and it was.
I am so so glad I had faith in myself and it actually paid off. I felt
really bad after failing a subject last semester, and felt that maybe I
wasn’t very smart at all, but I know I am now.

I know this
probably sounds really conceited to talk about how great I am, but if
you could have felt the awesome strength of the relief and satisfaction
I felt doing a presentation I knew would go well, you’d understand.

I
also got my big box of Nutrimetics goodies today. The stuff is awesome,
I have been wearing a neck wrap for the past hour. I might never take
it off, and it smells like lavender. I am not sure if I will do any of
the spa parties though, I think I would feel like a twit trying to sell
stuff to people. I guess you wouldn’t really go to a party unless you were interested in the products to begin with, but I am not sure. There is so much stuff to read about it, so I am going to read it this afternoon, then back into assessment mode until Sunday.

Dear angry girl on the bus,

I realize it must have been fairly
important it at the time, but a crowded council bus is not the most
appropriate of places to have a domestic with your partner over the
phone, even if it is in angry whispers.

Even thought you were
pretty tiny, you angry demeanor made me afraid of you, and even though
I am fairly tall, I am sure you could still take me. As we were sitting
in the back of the bus I had to sit between two seats in case I got to
close to you and you beat me up. It was most uncomfortable. I wanted to
change seats but I didn’t know if that would make you more angry.

In
future, may I suggest you save the domestic for when you see your
partner in person, it’s always so much better to argue face to face, or
even just try to save it when you are not surrounded by strangers in an
enclosed space. Despite the angry whispers you were speaking in, at
least three rows of people surrounding you were eavesdropping. It made
the ride home just a touch more exciting.

P.S A small tip for
future arguments, do not end angry phone calls with "I love you baby,
you know that, I love you" especially when you are the one picking the
fight, it really ruins any fear you might have instilled in him. The
key is to keep them afraid that you might actually act upon the threats.

Yours in public transport,

DelightfulJen

Fire in your belly

"Fire
in your belly" it’s one of my favourite expression, it just sounds cool
to say but I think it’s also important to have the inner urge and drive
to do things.

I had a really good day at uni, and I stayed all
day which is a huge deal for me, I have a nasty habits of skipping
lectures…and tutes. I have a massive lady crush on one of my
lecturers, she reminds me a lot of one of my friends at work who left
to have a baby. She’s quite tall, and has longish hair, and is very
vibrant, opinionated and strong but very much a girl. I love, love,
love women who are strong and powerful who are still very ladylike. I
think it’s very easy, and sometimes even necessary, when a strong women
gets to a position of power to take on some male qualities and loose
some girliness, but I so admire women who stay ladies.

My lady
crush was talking about how Early Childhood teachers differ from
Primary teachers and how we can are often considered ‘twee’ and a
little bit simple because we deal with the tiny children. I often
thought that myself before I changed over to Early Childhood, and she
went on to say how we can’t be one of those boring people who goes to
dinner parties and has no opinions about anything, and is always happy
to go with the crowd and please everyone, and we need to have fire in
our bellies, and believe in what and how we teach and not be afraid to
trust our own judgment.

It was right then I realised I had
become that sort of person, and I hate that. I never used to be one of
the "Oh, I don’t mind, you choose, no, really, I don’t mind" girls, I
was always able to make a decisions when other people wouldn’t or
couldn’t, and I believed strongly and was passionate about things and
trusted my judgment. I can’t really say why it all changed, I guess it
was a combination of lots of things, but it made me realise I can be
like that again. I am going to think about what I believe strongly in
and are passionate about. I am going to work out my opinions of various
things and believe in them, and myself. It will by my own little
personal, on going project.

Uni this semester is shaping up to
be the kind of semester that has sucked me into uni for so many years.
One of those challenging, interesting and exciting ones, where you feel
like you have done so much work and you are so much more intelligent
and capable because of it. I haven’t had that feeling for ages, and I’m
so happy it still exists.

I have to do a presentation worth 40%
next week. It’s exactly a week away and we were only told today. In our
tute we had to pick to topics and originally my partner and I decided
to go for the one in the last week, because it was the topic we were
most interested in, but in the end the other pair and us both wanted to
do the topics so we had to pick a number between 1 and 10 and whoever
was closest got the topic. I choose 7, because it’s always
7, and we got the final week. The other pair started moaning about how
much assessment they have in the next few weeks, and how they are out
of step so everything is so difficult for them, and because we are
meant to be in three’s how they could do it because they only had a
pair. I am also out of step, my partner and I didn’t have our third
person, but we decided to swap with them to save the hissy fit. What
annoyed me most was how patronizing they were about thanking us for
swapping, like it was an obligation we already had to make like easier
for the fourth years. Sorry dears, I’ve been at uni longer than you and
I don’t expect any sympathy. But the long and short of it is, we
present next week.

The tutor was very thankful that we swapped
and saved the drama She basically told us exactly what to present, told
us she would be generous in marking and let us do a shorter
presentation because there is only two of us. Karma is in action
already.

P.S. Don’t hate me, but I am thinking of getting my hair cut. I don’t necessarily want to lose any length as such, but I need a style
it’s just so blah at the moment. I sat behind a girl in my last lecture
and she had the most awesome hair, it inspired a passion for awesome
hair. I also think the fact I had a cry about having bad hair when I
had my bad day is a sign that I care very deeply on a subconscious
level about my hair.

And last but not least, Mars was good enough to tag me, I don’t belief I have ever been specifically tagged, so I do feel quite special. Here is Mars’ meme:

The five things meme

In my handbag
Wallet, PDA, mobile, ipod shuffle and around 18 lip glosses/balms. (Don’t I sound so technical with all my gadgets?)

In my fridge
Milk, chocolate mousse, strawberries, bottles of water, a giant KitKat (but not for me)

In my  closet
vacuum cleaner, clothes, handbags, wraps and my pair of Crocs (not sure why they don’t live with my other shoes)

In  my car
Lots
of books and readings from previous semesters at uni, $60 in spare
change in a bag waiting to go to the bank, rubbish, CDs, various pairs
of sunglasses. (My car is so waiting to be broken into, hey?)

I tag…… Enny, CLaRue and Susanne
and anyone else who’d like to play.

Well, I can safely say I have never been quite so taken by someone after spending just five hours in their company.

I
am so in love with my friend’s baby. She is just so gorgeous, she has
funny hair which kind of looks like a trendy mullet, and is just so
tiny. She is also the most beautifully behaved baby I have ever seen.
She only cried when she had her nappy changed, and mostly because it
was a bit chilly today and she didn’t like have her skin uncovered.

She
grizzled a little bit when we were leaving the shops but we went to the
bank, the grocery shop, had lunch in the food court and browsed a few
shops before she got bored. She’s only 12 days old but she is so smart,
she looks intently at things and holds onto her dummy when it’s in her
mouth. She had a fat tummy and looks like a frog because she legs are
skinny. She has to loveliest, softest skin but the sharpest tiny nails,
and the scratches on her face to prove it. She doesn’t like the tiny
mittens and pulls them off herself.

I still don’t want to give
birth to a baby, or want one to take home, but I enjoyed spending time
with her so much. I had never really held a baby before, or picked one
up from lying down, but I did today and I didn’t drop her so I must be
alright at it all.

I also got my PDA and I really like that as
well, it’s so easy to use and it does lots of cool things. It’s my new
baby, and it suits me because it turns off when I ignore it. If I could
have a baby who does that I’d seriously reconsider my choice to produce
children.

Not in a bad way though.

After my very cleansing cry the other
day, I decided to text the girls (the girlfriend’s of the ex’s
friends). I texted one of them and invited her to lunch, and she
replied right away and we arranged a date, then I was going to call the
other girl who just had a baby, and invite her because she hadn’t
replied to my texts previously, but when I picked up my phone she’d
texted me inviting me to lunch on Friday. Great minds.

I also
tracked down the phone number of one of the girls (the ones who’s
drinks I missed/was left out from) and texted her to say sorry. No
reply yet but she does have a baby, so I will give her a good few days
before assuming she hates me.

Then I found out yesterday that
one of my work supervisors is moving departments so I texted my other
friend to arrange a lunch date with her, so I can fill her in on the
gossip.

Because I am now a social butterfly, I have decided to invest in a PDA.
I have a uni diary, and I don’t like to mix my work stuff up with my
uni stuff, then I also have to do lists, post it’s and various other
scraps of paper which is not always the most effective means of
capturing or storing data. I will make the mini step into technology. I
have wanted one for years and years, so if nothing else at least I will
have tried something I have wanted to ages.

I worked three days
a week instead of my usual two, and I’ve really noticed it. I normally
do most of the housework during the week, as well as my general running
around, shopping and other little things I find to do, but not having
the one extra spare day really made a difference. I was speaking to my
friend/life coach at work and I realized that even though I sometimes
hate being a poor student, I can’t imagine working five days a week. I
really can’t think of any job I’d want to do full time, I really enjoy
variety, I don’t mind working five days, but I really think it would
have to be three days one job and two days the other.

(I am not really buying a PDA because of my social activity boom, more because I like gadgets and want one.)

I was very brave and went to uni today to sort everything out.

I
did fail that subject, I just got things very very wrong. I had the
right idea, but because I missed to much of the subject because I was
on prac, I just went about things the wrongest way possible. I can
accept that though, it’s not like I didn’t try or make an effort. From
what I’ve heard a lot of people failed, so that also makes me feel a
bit less stupid.

After taking that bullet, I went and saw my old
friend Yvette at Student Affairs. She’s rearranged my subjects before
so I knew she’d be (less than) pleased to see me. I explained that I
had to rearrange things because I failed a subject, and was happy to
add on just one semester to lighten my load. She told me to give her
five minutes. I knew it wouldn’t be a five minute job, but I let her
believe it. She came back with a course progression which is a year
longer than I wanted, so I told her we had to rework things. She
shuffled some things again, then I pointed out I couldn’t do a couple
of subjects in that order because one is a prerequisite to another.

At
that stage it was looking like I would have to do the extra year.
Because Education is so annoying, almost all of the subjects have
others they have to be done with, and are only offered in one semester
in the year, so it was getting harder and harder to shuffle subjects
without looking at two extra semesters. Yvette told me to leave it with
her, and said she’d sort it out.

I walked back to my car and
cried like a little girl all the way home. It was so terribly overdue.
I cried for failing a subject I tried hard on, I cried because it cost
me an extra year, I cried because I am single and no one will want to
be involved with me when I am a poor student, I cried because it feels
like I will never graduate, I cried because I will be 25 and still
living at home, I even cried because I don’t even have a good haircut.
I must have looked like such a twit, and every time I tried to calm
down it made me sob more. I am a painfully collected person almost all
of the time, almost no one has seen me cry, I hate crying but today I
just couldn’t help it.

I put on my Crowded House CD and sung in
the car really loud, I felt like I was going to burst into tears again
every time I opened my mouth but I knew I had to do something to get
myself out of the mood. I drove to the 7-11 and got my chocolate/frozen
coke combination I discovered last week. I figured I may as well make
myself look as tragic as I felt.

I came home and waited for
Yvette’s email. Things look good, I can still graduate half way through
2008. It’s not ideal, but it’s what I wanted, so I can hardly complain.
I only have three subjects this coming semester, and one is external,
but I have to do a prac subject this summer as well. It means no pracs
next year, which is very god, but I may have to shuffle my Bestie visit
dates. Hopefully things shouldn’t get too messed up though.

Work
is going to hate me, not only am I taking 4 weeks off in August, I will
also basically need from Christmas to the end of February off. That is
going to go over so well considering my supervisor spoke to me just yesterday
about giving them so much notice so they can make sure the staffing
levels are good. I already spoke to our old manager about my pracs, and
he said nothing about it. Which is now part of the problem, but I did
my part. It’s not like I even choose to do the pracs, I have to do them, and I have to do them when uni tells me.

I
actually feel so much better now. A good cry now and then can be really
underappreciated. Uni is fine, who cares if it’s six more months,
everyone I know who works full time would kill to go back to being a
student anyways, I should enjoy it while I can. Summer semester will be
ok, my flights are paid for but I am allowed to change the dates (I knew
I booked with Qantas for a reason) I get to do a prac all by itself, so
I can do an awesome job without having to worry about other things, and
even if I have to reshuffle dates I will still visit Bestie, even if I
only fly over to have lunch with her, I will
visit her. No pracs next year mean a whole year of full income, and
then in my final semester it’s only my prac subjects I will have to do,
so again I get to concentrate fully on the prac so I can do really
well, and I graduate mid year, so less competition for jobs.

I am single but it’s fine,
most of the time I do not have to time or money to spend on a boy
anyway. I might still meet some nice boy who is willing to support me
so I can move out and still stay at uni, stranger things have happened.
My hair is only crap because it’s growing out, which is what I want. I
can’t have long hair without having the awkward in between stage, and
if I cut it, it will look good but not get me long hair. things really
aren’t bad so I am not going to be a sook about it.

Poll: Do I
pick up more hours at work, now that I have more free time this
semester, or do use it as time to do this subject really well to up my
GPA and have a bit of a break as I’ll be doing summer semester. Vote
now!