Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

This is only short, and I started the conversation with the intention
of just having a funny conversation. I am usually not one to speak
before thinking but when I do, I do it well it seems.

Setting the scene:
A
few grade twos are doing an art project, there is one little girl who
is just gorgeous – impeccable manners, nice to talk to, just a really
awesome kid, sitting at the table. They were sharing pens and this
girl, N, was saying please and thankyou each time she got a new pen
from someone.

Story:
I was commenting to the other teacher aide how lovely N is, and the aide said how she is always like that.
Miss
DJ: "You are just so lovely, N, where can I go to get more kids just
like you? I want a whole class full of kids as lovely as you"
N:
"You will have to go to Zimbabwe to get more kids like me, but don’t go
there because some kids are very noisy and not like me, wait here
(Australia) until some more kids like me come over".
Miss DJ: "I don’t know if I can wait N, maybe I should go to Zimbabwe and get some lovely kids to be in my class."
** Now, if I was smart, this is where the story should end. WHY
didn’t I think that people don’t usually leave Africa because it’s such
an awesome place to be, they are normally trying to escape a not very
nice situation.

N: "No Miss DelightfulJen, please promise me you will never go to Zimbabwe!"

** WHY did I continue??

Miss DJ: "Why N, why can’t I go to Zimbabwe myself?"
N:
"It’s a terrible place, there are all of these people and they are all
dead, and there are people shooting everyone, please don’t go to
Zimbabwe!"

Being the gorgeous person she is, she didn’t get
upset or anything talking about it, but she was very genuine in making
me say I’d never go there. I feel so horrible for mentioning it. At uni
they ram all of this cultural awareness down our throats, so it’s
beyond me why I didn’t even think about it in pursuing the conversation.

It
was a very genuine mistake and I feel bad about it, but I still can’t
quite get over it. I feel really mean about having to make her think
about it. It’s even more heartbreaking that a seven year old has had to
witness things like that, stuff that most adults in Australia will
never have to see.

I have always wanted to adopt a child when I
get older, I was always set on saving a Chinese girl orphan, but now I
think I would consider a child from Zimbabwe. I shall be the modern day
Angelina Jolie, but I will collect children for good, not for
publicity. (I have always wanted to adopt a baby, it’s always made more
sense to me to help a baby no one wants than conceive one. The "own
flesh and blood" argument holds no water for me.)

Being an introvert and having to teach all day, the last thing I want
to do when I come home is think about communicating with even more
people, so please excuse my patchy blogging this week. I will get used
to things next week and it will get better, but this week it’s just
kind of draining, hence the title, I am useless by 3:15.

I
taught my first lesson by myself today. The kids didn’t screw around
too much, no one cried, no one was injured – granted it was only a
handwriting lesson but those things can happen during any given lesson.
My teacher didn’t chase me out with a flaming torch or call QUT and
demand I never come back to prac, so I assume it was alright.

Prac
has confirmed the fact I never want to work full time. I told the Ex
that last night and he told me it was the stupidest thing he’s ever
heard. I think I’d be rather smart to find someone silly enough to
support me so I could work only part time. I just can’t imagine doing
anything five days a week, I don’t like anything enough to do it five
days a week, except maybe go shopping or visit with my friends, and
neither of those are really jobs. I think when I graduate if I don’t go
to the Holy Land (Japan) I will stay here and do relief teaching and
maybe start (another) of my own businesses, except I might actually do business this time.

Well,
I need to go plan some more lessons, reading tomorrow and maths on
Friday. I’m pretty happy prac is going to well, going back to work is
going to be so hard, I am dreading it already.

This
has been one of those weekends where it feels like you’ve hardly had
any spare time. I guess my weekend started on Wednesday (it was a
public holiday in Brisbane) but it will come to an end tomorrow when I
start prac. 

Wednesday:
Went to harbor Town (a factory outlet shopping centre on the Gold
Coast). I love shopping, but as a uni student I particularly love cheap
shopping. I bought a pair of pants, a Fossil watch and my Grandma
bought me a pair of Witchery shoes (she wanted to buy something for someone, so I was it). It was such a nice day, the weather is getting so summer-y, I love it! 

Thursday
Morning: Visited my prac school. Good teacher, pretty good class. The
school is huge, I am so going to get lost, but my teacher knows what
she’s talking about and seems to be very friendly and nice. I’m looking
forward to this prac, I don’t want to feel cocky but I’m not worried
about this prac, I guess because I’ve done Year Two before so I have a
fair idea of what to do. 

Thursday
and Friday: Spent time with the A’s (Big and Little) we sewed a bib,
had some lunch and shopped. We bought Little A a bouncy chair which
vibrates, it’s so cute! I
wanted to see Little A in it, but she was sleeping so we decided to
leave her to it. I’m so sad I won’t be able to have my Friday visits
for the next four weeks. 

Saturday: DFO. One of my most favourite places ever. More cheap shopping, I left two cardigans, a pair of pants and two pairs of shoes heavier. The white pair
of shoes I wanted since Christmas, but when I went to buy them they
were gone, I was heartbroken. I found them at Wittner at DFO for $20
cheaper than they were in store at Christmas. Shoes like these will
change your life, I adore them.

I have watched a lot of Miami Ink
this weekend, and I think my newest grand plan is to be a tattoo
artist. There are a couple of flaws in the plan – I haven’t drawn for
years, I am deathly afraid of needles and I’m not sure I could bear to
hurt people. I might start trying to draw again before deciding whether
to do anything about this latest grand plan. One of my friend’s sisters
is a body piercer who works for a tattoo artist, so I guess I have a
starting off point if I did decide to do anything with the idea.

POLL:
I
was the at chemist today and they had a clearance bin of condoms and
pregnancy tests. It might just be a coincidence that they were put in
the same bin, but I wouldn’t trust either product, I fear clearance
condoms would lead to needing a clearance pregnancy test. What do
you think?

And now for Enny’s Meme:

1. One book you have read more than once: 
I’ll mentioned two books, "Hating Alison Ashley" by Robin Klein and "48 Shades of Brown" by Nick Earls. "Hating Alison Ashley" is my favorite book from Primary School, and "48 Shades of Brown" is about my most favourite book ever. I am dying to see the movie, I hope it’s not disappointing.

2. One book you would want on a desert  island:
I
would like one of the Girls Night In books. I am very much into variety
and choice, so I like that it’s a big fat book filled with short
stories from all different authors. They are the kind of books you can
read over and over, and it’s big enough that I could pull out the few
stories I don’t like to use to start a fire.

3. One book  that made you laugh:
"Bachelor Kisses"
by Nick Earls. I love this book so much, mostly because I am deeply in
love with Jon (the main character), he’s my ideal guy so it’s quite
unfortunate he only exists on paper. It’s just such a funny story, and
it’s all based in Brisbane so I love that I know all of the places in
the book
4. One book that made  you cry:
"The Lovely Bones"
by Alice Sebold. I just thought it was so so sad, and the way it was
written with all the realistic descriptions of what happened made it
seems so real.

5. One book you wish you had written:
The Bible, for obvious reasons. Can you imagine how cool the instore book signing would be?

6. One book you wish  had never been written:
"A Child Called It’, "The Lost Boy" and "A Man Named Dave"
by David Pelzer. I only wish these books had never been written because
it’s beyond heartbreaking that those things have happened to a child.
No person deserves the be treated the way he was.

7. One book you are  currently reading:
I just bought "Girls Night In 4" today, so I technically haven’t started reading it, but I shall do this afternoon.

8. One book you have been meaning to  read:
"The Devil Wears Prada"
by Lauren Weisberger, I’ve heard a lot about it, and now the movie is
coming out soon I’d like to see what the paper version is about before
seeing it on screen.
9. One book  that changed your life:
"The Book of Answers"
by Carol Bolt. It is literally just a book of answers, you think of a
question and then open to book and it gives you the answer. It’s not
for everyone, but it’s what I use when I would like to get some input
from the Universe. God, I sound like such a hippy, different strokes
and all that, eh?

Dear TV,

You suck tonight. Thursday night used to be my most favourite day of television. There is How I Meet Your Mother and My Name is Earl. This is when things go horribly wrong,TV, you need to take off Two and a Half Men it’s terrible and I don’t really like Charlie Sheen. I could forgive it though, because it was always on before The New Adventures of Old Christine, and where did that go? Not so much as a warning that it was going?

Now, TV, what were you thinking with David Tench?
No, No, No No, No. If it’s not axed by next week I will seriously
reconsider my decision not to be one of those hippies who don’t watch
TV. It caused me physical pain to watch a few minutes of it. Why would
an animated TV host be a good idea? I understand Channel Ten is
probably facing a couple of budget issues, but are animated hosts the
answer? No, I say, just no.

I guess I just wanted to tell you I
am really disappointed. TV, you have been pretty poor lately but
Thursday nights got me to regain some of the faith I had lost in you,
and now look what you have gone and done. I don’t know where we go from
here, TV, I just don’t know if I can believe in you again. I hope, for
both of our sakes that the upcoming Law and Order is good, if it’s not, I just don’t know what I can do.

Sincerely,

DelightfulJen

Being the very spiritual creature that I am, I did twelve minutes of yoga this morning.

It
was a very firm reminder that I am so far away from being ready to do a
yoga class. I used to practice it fairly regularly a couple of years
ago, but like most other things I just haven’t had the time/motivation
to do it recently. I’ve lost my touch, let’s say. I am really inflexible
and stiff and that made me feel old. Despite that, I do love the way it
makes me feel once I get going, I can really feel how it opens up your
body and gets all the energy moving around. I am in desperate need of
that at the moment, I feel really…stagnant.

My weekend of
eating and drinking too much turned out to good in a way, I am very
committed to eating properly and exercising again. Shortly after my
birthday last year, I got my act together and ended up loosing ten
kilos, so if that’s not a good incentive to do things again, I’m not
sure what is.

The rest of today will be spent playing the
waiting game. I called my host teacher just before to arrange a meeting
before I start prac, but she wasn’t in her room yet so I had to leave a
message. I hate people returning calls, I almost always miss the call
and end up playing phone tag. On the upside, I’ve arranged to have this
Thursday off work so I have four and a half weeks off now. Hooray!!

These past few days, I have not exercised much self control, and now I am paying for it:

Friday – Day: I went to the Ekka.
Bought a couple of showbags, but I ended up with a mountain of
chocolate I could hardly jump over. I ate way too many Bertie Beetles and
potato gems. I saw some extraordinary large roosters and won a
chocolate fountain from one of those little lucky ticket stalls. Like I
need any encouragement to eat more chocolate.

Friday – Night:
I went to that party I was nervous about. I had no need to be nervous,
but I polished off a bottle of ‘Yellow’ and most of a bottle of ‘Pink’.
Even if I was nervous I surely don’t remember. I haven’t been that
drunk since high school.

The Ex was there but I don’t really
remember having much to do with him, I did however end up speaking
quite a lot to one of the boys I was scared of seeing, he seemed
genuinely pleased to see me and talk with me. I’ve always kept that he
never really warmed to me, A reckons that he does actually like me and
is annoyed at the Ex for getting rid of me, it’s nice to know I was
liked. A highlight was trying to text Bestie from the back of the taxi
and being so drunk I had to close one eye and squint really hard to see
the keys, luckily the driver must have thought I was a little bit weird
and no small talk was made. I don’t like taxi driver small talk.

Saturday – Day: The most wicked hangover EVER!
I normally never get hangovers, I’m not sure why but I just usually
feel a little seedy but that’s all. I am clearly getting old because I
have never felt so disgusting before. Fortunately a Sausage and Egg
McMuffin cured me, but I felt like dying until about midday.

Later
in the afternoon, I went to the airport so my D’Nanny could meet her
friend she hasn’t seen in forty five years. Can you imagine not seeing
someone for that long? It was pretty cute, they acted like school kids
gossiping to each other in the back of the car.

Saturday – Night: A
and her husband, J called me around five (yay, they didn’t disown me
after last night’s performance!) they invited me to go back to the
person’s house we went to on Friday for a BBQ. D’Mummy planned to get
Chinese take away, so I stayed home and ate way too much Chinese, then
went out. I called J&A just before I arrived and they told me Little A had wee’d on her clothes and they had to leave and tidy her
up. They invited me to go to J’s dad’s house while they sorted her out.
Little A was wearing her cranky pants and was in no mood to go out
again so we ended up eating chocolate and watching Princess Dairies 2. Little
A is getting so big now, she’s got chubby cheeks and has learned how to
arch her back and kick when she’s cranky. I was never a baby person,
but she’s converted me, I only like her though, not all babies.

Sunday – Day: We
took my D’Nanny and her friend to Southbank. We did the tourist-y stuff
like going on a City Cat and looking through the markets. I don’t mind
the Southbank markets, but they aren’t the best in Brisbane, but good
to do the tourist thing. We ate at the Crepe Cafe and I also bought
fudge.

So this weekend I have not only drunk myself into
oblivion but have eaten so much rubbish it’s embarrassing. Hopefully I
only have one day of work this week, I start prac next Monday and asked
for this Thursday off so I can visit my school. Even if I don’t end up
going to school that day, I can go visit the A’s because I will miss
our Friday dates for the next four weeks.

Deb tagged me, so who am I not to go along with it? I need to share five weird characteristics or habits I have, so here they are:

1)
Just recently I noticed one of my nostrils is a different shape to the
other. I have figured out that it’s probably because I have always had
mild hayfever and my nose sometimes itches. I rub my nose with my right
hand from left to right, so as my nose has been forming, my nose
rubbing has probably caused my nostril to be more narrow than the
other. Exciting, huh?

2)
I am a super fast reader. I have never read anything word for word I
have always just scanned things to understand the meaning. It’s really
quite useful in terms of uni readings because I can normally read them
during the start of the tute so I don’t look unprepared for when
discussions start, but it makes me bad at reading aloud because I don’t
read every single word. I love to read books but I am extraordinarily
picky about what I read, and I can never find enough good books to keep
up with me, so I read very occasionally.

3) I was not one of those babies who had hair when I was born, I was very bald. I only got my first proper haircut just before I started Primary school. My hair was always very fine and very  slow growing. It’s gotten a little bit thicker over the years, but I will never have a thick flowing mane.

4)
I love to make jewellery, but I very rarely wear it my own stuff. I
have lots of jewellery but I only ever wear earrings and a little ring
I bought in Byron Bay a few months ago. I used to wear a necklace all
the time which the Ex gave me, but shortly after the breakup I got
cranky and gave all the jewellery he gave me to St Vinnies. I still
don’t regret it, it’s what I needed to do. Despite the fact I rarely
wear jewellery, I like to buy it. Mostly only costume jewellery because I never wear it, and if I do I just wear it to work so I look semi-professional.

5) I can’t think of number five…I have just drawn a blank, I’ll add something when it comes to me. IOU one weird fact.

I’d like to tag Adam, Enny, Audrey, CLaRue and Dot/Mars (whomever would like to do it first)

I’m still really into all this personality type stuff, I purposefully
raised the topic with someone at work who is very strongly Catholic,
and he thinks it’s all rubbish and faith defines who you are.

I
understand his point of view, but I am sticking to mine. He actually
had a lot of resources about Myers-Briggs and I was talking with some
other people at work about it. My Life Coach is the same type as me
(INFJ) and I worked out another guy at work, and we read his profile
out of one of the books I was given on it, and it was him to a ‘t’.

I found some other things online, which are so exactly true about me:

"INFjs
have a very characteristic dispassionate facial expression. This is
often reminiscent of the depiction of saints and martyrs from early
Christian icons. Their faces convey the feeling that their soul is
suffering even when it is not."

During exam period last
semester I was looking in my local newsagent and the girl behind the
counter cried out "Oh no, what’s wrong?!". I looked around to make sure
she was talking to me, and I said "Oh, nothing?". She went on to
explain how I look so worried and she was sure it must have been
something terrible, but really I was only mildly concerned with exams,
not really anything earth stopping. I get told I look like I am deeply
worried very often, when I am usually not too concerned at all.

"INFjs
prefer to observe people for sometime before making contact in order to
identify social hierarchy in a group. Normally INFjs do not show
initiative when making contact for the first time."

I
really need to know where someone stands before I can feel comfortable
in speaking with them, but as the second sentence mentions I will
rarely approach someone first, I prefer to let others come to me.

"INFjs
do not really make good cheats or frauds. This however, does not stop
them from trying sometimes. And even if they do, they are likely to
feel pretty bad about themselves afterwards. This gives INFjs a
reputation as naive and impractical people."

I
am the worst liar in the world, I just can’t do it. I am the least
convincing person when I try to lie, and I do always feel very guilty
if I do happen to get away with it.

"They
do everything carefully, paying great attention to the quality of their
labour. INFjs demand cleanliness and order. At home they tend to keep
everything tidy, carefully storing their belonging, especially females
INFjs. They like a calm and measured style of life and therefore try to
prepare and anticipate everything beforehand, often making them quite
reliable."

This relates to my freak out of last week
when everything was all messy, I really need everything to be sorted
and organised for things to feel happy and comfortable. When I was
little I used to be obsessed with anticipating ever possible outcome
for every event, I used to rationalize it by saying I will know what to
do in every possible situation if I over analyze everything. I still do
this sometimes when I am nervous about something (E.g. The party
tonight)

"Your strongest virtue is a very good
understanding of other people’s real feelings and relationships. You
aspire to attain warm and friendly relations with others. You cannot
stand rudeness and violence. You are delicate, kind and full of
attention to others. You try to show your compassion for others with
actions as well as with words. Your understanding of people and life
experiences always help you to find your place in society. You are
prepared to spend time, energy and effort helping people with real
needs. Your aim is to create peaceful, harmonious, conflict free
surroundings, in which others feel comfortable expressing their
talents. You are an effective counselor and peacemaker. You forgive
others for negative behavior, instead appealing to people’s conscience
where ethical situations are concerned."

"You
over-analyze everything that concerns you or your surroundings. The
results of this are often not so satisfying, leaving you feeling
depressed and pessimistic, especially if this envelops unethical
behavior in others. Your sense of compassion is often stronger than
your sense of justice. You often lack resolution, initiative and the
ability to firmly make your point. You are afraid to appear interfering
and your modesty could be over the top. You often hesitate to react to
provocation, preferring to bottle your feelings inside. You are often
squeamish and punctilious. You pay too much attention to details and
quality in your work."

Both of those are so me, they may as well replace all the "you"s with "Jen"s.

I think everyone should go and suss out their own profile, I still can’t believe how scarily accurate it all is.

I decided to delete my last blog, it was boring, I really must stop blogging luke warm stuff.

In
my tute tonight we looked a bit at the Myers-Briggs personality test. I
think that stuff is so interesting. I am an INFJ. My tutor said
introverts are best suited to university study and the N (intuition)
part is most successful for understanding university stuff, so INs are
the most likely to do PhDs. Hmmm.

I had done a little bit with
Myers-Briggs before, but everything just made so much more sense
tonight. For the first time every, I had a teacher knowledge that some
kids are introverts and the worst possible thing you can do for an
introvert is try and get them to just grow out of it by making them
talk infront of people.

At school, nothing would fill me with
more dread than having to speak infront of the class, however let me
prepare for it and I can handle it, or a small group I am fine with,
but speaking off the top of my head infront of a group is still
something I’m just not good at.

She also mentioned that
introverted teachers can be good teachers but speaking to people all
day is very draining and that they will go home and stay quiet for a
few hours to recharge. That’s exactly me, I talk on a phone for eight
hours on a Monday at work, and when I get home I only make the barest
minimum of conversation because I am just all talked out. I’m glad to
learn I’m not just a weirdo but it’s just what introverts do.

I’m
curious to hear other people’s personality types, do a google search
and you’ll find a test online if you don’t know already. Lots of people
poo poo personality tests, so if you don’t believe it all, tell me why.

This coming Friday I have been invited to a birthday party. It will be monumental for a number of reasons:

1) I haven’t gone out in a drinking/party sense for months.
I don’t really miss it, I’m not a big party person, but I’d really love
to drink some champagne and be silly. I will drink if Big A doesn’t
bring Little A, I don’t want to make her feel left out if she can’t
drink and has to look after a baby. Either way thought it will be fun to see the girls, at night time, at a party, like young people.

2)
It will mark the first time that the Ex and I will be in the same place
together, in front of our friends. We are sorted, I have no problem
with him and he has no problem with me, we speak often. I am find of
nervous about how some of his friends will be, I could care less if
they still like me or not, but I don’t want them to make a big deal out
of things.

I know I am probably thinking too much about what
will be a total non-event, but I just hope people aren’t expecting
awkwardness or drama.

On the upside, I put a treatment in my
hair so it’s looking much more like lovely, smooth hair and less like
frizzy, hairdryer fried hair. My skin is also being awesome at the
moment, I am much past my teenager skin I was sporting during the uni drama and it’s looking..healthy (thanks Nutrimetics!).
My next dilemma is what to wear, I don’t want to look like a try hard
dressing up for a very casual, at home party. I also don’t want to look
like I have been wallowing in misery for the past four months.

P.S
The exercise bike is now finally built and working. I am a genius.
Well, maybe not so much as I went downstairs to use it before
forgetting I was wearing some rather stiff denim jeans. Ten minutes
felt like a hour trying to get my legs to cycle in their denim
restraints. Well ten minutes is better than no minutes, I figure, one
must start somewhere.