Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

To say I am over this crazy heat would be a massive understatement!

I’m over having sweaty hair, the feeling of heavy, sticky heat whenever the breeze stops, not being able to wear long pants because it’s too hot and sticky, the throbbing headache I get from going to cool to hot, feeling like my face is all greasy, my laptop’s heat making me super hot every time I use it  and just being hot in general.

I’d really like to dye my hair but it’s just too hot at the moment, I’d hate for the dye to run down my neck or face. I also need to start packing some things and do some uni work but I couldn’t be bothered to do that either, I might put on my aircon later tonight and make myself do it.

I also found out today that W.A is being rather insensitive in terms of it’s temperatures as well! When I logged onto the Qantas site to request a veggie meal, I noticed the temperatures in Perth have been 39 and 40 lately! No thanks! I’m cashing in my ticket for Tasmania, sorry Bestie love!

I had one of the best days shopping today. I set out to get a couple of new polo shirts, I was happy to buy cheap and nasty ones but Target only had a couple of ugly "vintage" look ones, so I thought I’d see if Myer had any in their cheap in store brand lines. I was walking past the Ralph Lauren ones and noticed there was some on a sale rack, they were my size and very beautiful colors. Then I noticed they were 30% off the marked price plus another 10% off if you used a Myer card. I got a turquoise one for $48 and a light purple one for $39, less than $100 for two  (genuine) Ralph Lauren polos, it was simply meant to be! I was so thrilled, Ralph Lauren polos are one of my "things" (Bestie can attest to this) I had a rainbow of them during high school and would pretty much wear nothing else. This may explain my unfixable tshirt tan that I continue to sport to this day. The feeling of the cotton mesh of a RL polo is one of my favorite things, I just love them so much! I also got three of my all time favorite Miss Shop singlets for $5.15 each, thanks Myer sales!

Right, I am off to go and attempt to be productive. I hope everyone else is having a cool (literally)  long weekend!

I had a super Australia Day, and I hope you did too.

I spent this afternoon sitting under Engaged girls mango tree with her, A and Little A drinking wine while the boys played with Engaged Girl’s partner’s car. It was breezy, not excessive hot and super fun. I love my girls so very much, I would die without girlfriends, my life would cease to have meaning.

A teased me mercilessly about my taste in wine, she now refuses to drink anything I pick. I think I am actually part housefly because I like my wine sweet and fruity, the sweeter the better. A finds this appalling and spends a lot of time gagging down her first glass of my choice of wine before she’s able to drink the next couple normally. She picked Yellowglen Bella which is a sparkling rose (should be with the funny e, but I don’t know how to do that). It was a very beautiful, a very pretty wine. I chose Sunstone Luscious Fruit White, which is one of my favorites but a likened it to "sweetened alcoholic apple juice" clearly it was not so bad that she couldn’t down her half of the bottle.

We ate fish and chips (I ate corn jacks [like a Chico Roll except stuffed with corn] and chips), and got bitten by mosquitoes. A’s husband pointed out there was two on me at one point, and I waved them off. This was outrageous behavior according to everyone else but I’ve never liked to slap mosquitoes, the idea of splatting blood (possibly not even my blood) over myself has never been very appealing but especially now that I’m very conscious of personally ending the lives of other creatures. I was not a perfect Buddhist however, there was a fair bit of bitching about The Ex and BOF and I also drank four of five glasses of wine, not enough to be unaware of my actions by any means, but enough to be more open than I normally would be. I actually felt sick with worry on the way in case The Ex would be there, but thankfully he wasn’t invited. I hate that he still terrifies me. He has gone and told everyone he was not invited to the BBQ I was planning to have, but I used his work email that he checked at least 100 times a day, so I know for sure that it arrived.

I got a really nice pair of khaki jeans today, D’Mummy sprung for them (thanks D’Mummy!) I planned for denim jeans but I can live without them, I didn’t own jeans for a number of years a while back and my all time lady crush, Alannah Hill, doesn’t believe in wearing jeans so I figured I’m not entirely insane. I also bought myself another scarf, it is from Sportscraft and it was down to only $15. I really like it, I’m going to make it part of my flying outfit. The most exciting part of going anywhere is deciding what to wear on the plane. The best part is, it’s much shorter than all my pashmina wraps and it’s very light so it’s a perfect summer scarf. I love scarves very dearly, I might make it one of my things.

In my last bit of news, I am planning to do three exciting things in the very near future. One will be done before BV, so I won’t mention it here just yet so Bestie doesn’t find out, and the other two things might happen during BV, provided Bestie doesn’t crack it when I outline my plans. I predict she will crack it and threaten to disown me but I suppose you never know, right? I think I will do it regardless, I’ve been thinking about it for an extremely long time and I would really like to because it will be significant for a number of reasons. I’ve decided to stop trying to be the person I believe I should be because it would suit everyone else, and start being the person I am because that person is pretty cool to begin with.

If you are Australian* and spent any large portion of today in air conditioning, curl one of your hands into a fist. If you thought "I am so glad to be in the air con, it sucks to be someone who doesn’t have it" punch yourself in the arm. If you though "Wow, what a relief to be in the air con, I feel so sorry for those who are outside" relax your fist, thanks for being a kind person.

Today was unbearable, it was so humid it was like being in a sauna all day. The kids were hot and ratty, the staff were hot and ratty so combine fourteen kids and three staff in a room about twice as big as an average lounge room, with a couple of windows and no air con, and just have a think about how fun my day was. Not to mention the short storm that broke around 3pm which made some of the kids freak out because of the thunder and drenched everything outside so they couldn’t go out and play and only made things hotter and more humid! Then add two poo’d pants, one bathroom flood and the parent who thought a room full of two and three year olds might like some gooey mud cake as a treat for her child who was leaving and that was my day.

I met with the Director today to do my report which was due last week, she spent about 30 seconds ticking all the "excellent" boxes and then gave the report to me. I asked if she would like to see my folder of work I have done, and she asked if she really had to. From now on, I am going to make up everything and arse around next week, since she clearly could care less so I am not going to bother to do things properly. The staff are happy with what I do in the room, the kids are happy enough with me, so I’m not going to bother doing the uni side of things properly. Uni won’t know if I do it sincerely or not, my Director goes on holiday for a month after I leave so even if they call to verify anything, no one will really be able to help. I know it’s the wrong attitude and all, but really, no one cares.

I am looking forward to this weekend like nobody’s business. I am really not doing anything particularly special but I cannot freakin’ wait. I think the whole full time work (for free) is making me appreciate exactly how much free time I normally have, and I really miss my friends.

Just to jump back to prac for a moment, today we had a sausage sizzle for Australia Day. They offered me one and I said "No thanks, I’ll do without" and my assistant said "Oh, that’s right, you’re a vegetarian". The Director was walking past the room and heard this and said "You’re a vegetarian?!" and I nodded and then she started asking me all these questions about what I eat, and if I eat fish (why do people think vegetarians eat fish?!) and how she was vegetarian for a few months until she decided to eat roast pork one day. It continued when I was in her office when I was getting my report done. I never really thought it was a particularly interesting. I have never called myself a vegetarian to anyone yet, I have told the girls at prac "I don’t like meat" or "I choose not to eat it", I just can’t bring myself to say "I’m vegetarian". I know it’s crazy but I can’t help it. I can’t say "I’m Buddhist" to anyone either, I’ve said "I’m studying Buddhism" but nothing more. I just don’t want to sound like a fraud, even thought I don’t eat meat and I am really trying hard to study Buddhism and live by it’s philosophy but I don’t feel right saying it.

It’s the long weekend, WAHOO!!!

*Those from other countries are spared because you don’t have first hand experience of exactly how disgusting the weather in Queensland is at the moment.

OK, so today I encountered my first (unconfirmed) case of chicken pox. B was in today and because it was so hot at rest time we took off his shirt so it would be cooler for him, then we noticed he was covered in little red dots, he had them over the tops of his legs and they were appearing on his face as well. He was really quiet and sedate today which is extremely unusual for him, so he was obviously a bit off. Some of the little dots were closer together and less red looking so we thought it was possibly heat rash but it’s uncertain, I guess we’ll see tomorrow.

Chicken Pox is almost something which is unspeakable at uni. It ruins pracs, because of the exclusion period. I’ve never had it before, so I’m kind of antsy, I’m going to overdose on Vitamin C and just hope with every fiber of my being that I don’t catch anything. They will have to carry me out kicking and screaming if they wanted me to take a day off prac, I refuse to get sick right now. I always drop like a hot rock at the end of prac because I finally let myself get sick, but not right now!

Thankfully, if I do happen to sprout a crop of Pox after prac is finished and I can’t fly (believe me, they will have to peel me off the airport doors screaming like a banshee, I will not being not flying by choice) I was smart enough to buy travel insurance the other day, so if I do need to abandon flights I won’t be losing money. Hooray for a brief stroke of intelligence.

My Director has only been in for a couple of hours this week, which is a massive no no as far as uni is concerned. It’s also the end of my third week and the report which was meant to be done last Friday is still not in. I spoke the the Director the other day about something and she said "I really don’t care, just do what you want". I thought it would be good to have a really relaxed prac but it’s hard because if no one cares what you are doing then you have no real motivation to do it. I won’t bother mentioning it to uni, the teachers I work with suggested I just…embellish some of the work I have to do so it fits uni criteria, and because the Director doesn’t care why shouldn’t I?

It’s now less than two weeks uni BV (Bestie Visit). This weekend I am going to get an eye brow wax (so I make my impression on W.A with two, distinct eyebrows) and attempt to buy a new pair of jeans. This will be particularly lovely because at the moment it’s the delightful time of month so I have like a bloated sack of crazy emotions. Not only do I feel three times larger than normal (due to previous reason, and the fact it’s around 57 degrees most days), I also have to irresistible urge to burst into tears and/or tear someone to shreds at frequent intervals throughout the day, so won’t shopping for jeans be a treat? It has to be this weekend as next weekend I am jam packed, and I hate my current jeans. I am going to try very hard and not spend lots of money when I am away, I really don’t need anything so hopefully it won’t be too hard.

I fell in love with a guy at the supermarket today. I was choosing some avocados and I smelt a lovely boy perfume and when I looked up I saw him. He was tall, dressed in nice business clothes and was bald. I think I love bald guys, my trainer was bald and I was deeply in love with him and I could have easier fallen in love with this guy. I don’t think I’d like a guy with hair longer than mine (I think it’s related to the whole "taller than me" rule), so bald would be perfect really. Not bald as in super short hair, like full on shiny scalp bald. It takes a lot of guts to be bald, so I would admire anyone who made the choice.

* My bones ache, in particular my spine and hips. I think it’s because I very frequently sit on very tiny chairs or on hard, lino floors. I also bend over tiny tables all the time and pick up fairly hefty little people so my spine just screams in agony most of the time. Only nine more days of prac, which is pretty cool.

* I go see Bestie in seventeen days, I am becoming more and more really freakin’ excited. We’ve never really had a purely one on one visit, she comes back home but also has to do the family and other friends thing, but this time it’s just me in her world, very exciting! I was going to get another spray tan, but I’m poor and I don’t want to end up looking patchy like a leper as it flakes off a week into the visit, so W.A is just going to have to take me as I am, pale and soft

* Being so disgusting every day (covered in sand, dust, dirt, child sweat, suncream smears, spilled yogurt and bodily fluids, amongst other things) has a surprising benefit in that it means that on weekends I love to wear makeup and perfume. Normally I can’t be bothered to wear makeup on weekends but I have been busting to put on makeup for most of the week, it’s a good thing because I have lots of good stuff to use now too!

* During the week, I bought the "Zabitha" flats from Wittner (it was pre CC bill). Go get some, they are pretty cool and only $39.95. I know the chain looks a bit naff, but it just works in real life. I got the white ones, but I want the black ones now too (It’s just one of my things, if I find something good, I’ll buy multiples). The site won’t let me steal it’s photo but if you search for "Zabitha" on Wittner you’ll see them.

* I went to the Lifeline Bookfest today, if you know wee ones or are a (student)teacher then run as fast as your tiny legs will carry you (you could also go if you just like books)! They have so many good kids books for like $1 and $0.50! I bought a heap of books for my prac center and a few stuffed animals (they are all $2). I got Little A a Baby Einstein DVD for $3 and quite a few kids books to add to my collection. Take your own shopping bag or trolley and just dive in, it’s so worth it, and they still had so many books to put out! It’s on until Wednesday at the Convention Center.

* I just realized this sounds like a commercial blog, I swear I am not getting paid to sell anything. If I was I wouldn’t be whinging about being poor, and I would be gloating about how awesome it is to be paid to blog. If it ever happens, rest assured you’ll be the first to know.

* I would really love to vent about my dislike for D’Brother, but I will save it. I just don’t like him as a person, and I’ve been really trying to find reasons why he is likable but I am still at a loss. D’Brother could murder D’Daddy and myself and D’Mummy would still find a reason why it was alright for him to do, she’s probably tidy up the crime scene for him and Napisan his clothes. How many other 20 year olds do you know who have all their bills paid for them, have their rooms tidied and beds made every week and still receive financial handouts, despite working full time? I wish I could like him, it’s not very Buddhist to dislike people but I am just at a loss.

* I don’t know whether or not to involve my uni mentor about my prac placement. Essentially jobs are at sake, all the staff are stressed, staffing levels are not the best, it’s a fairly inconsistent environment and there is very few resources. I am meant to be doing all this planning and room management but it’s hard because I am sort of being used as a back up staff member at times and it’s hard to plan for stuff because there isn’t that much to work with. Essentially no one really cares what I am doing, so it’s not really a problem if all of my work is…embellished, lets say. If I mention something to my uni person I’m afraid she might tell my teacher to get her act together because it sounds like she had a bit of a go at her the other day for not having done my mid point report (which is being done on Tuesday and is meant to have been posted this past Friday). Thoughts? Should I just keep my mouth shut and suck it up or risk mentioning it and having stuff potentially go pear shaped?

* A and her husband have canceled their old mobile accounts and are in the process of sorting out moving numbers to another provider, for whatever reason it’s been two weeks without A have a mobile. We normally text at least once a day and it feels like I have had an arm cut off not having that daily contact with her, I haven’t seen Little A in two weeks now because of prac! I am losing my mind, how I survived without having any good friends in Brisbane I will never know.

* I was thinking of doing swimming at my old gym right near my house, they have a pool section you can use casually, and since I am used to waking up at 5:30 now I figured I could put that to good use when I come back from Bestie visit. I am not big on the idea of exposing the unsuspecting public to any expanse of my uncovered flesh, but if I sneak down very early in the morning I shouldn’t offend too many people, my only concern is that the PT I used to train with (and be fairly madly in love with) has been spotted there on a number of occasions lately and if I was to cross paths with him while in togs I would have to go and drown myself in the closest body of water. I wonder if they still make knee length swimmers?

* Do you know what is awesome? I wear 30+ suncream each day now because I spend so much time outdoors, but I still seem to have a slight tan!! I am probably pale by normal person standards but I am not my normal glowing white so it’s extremely exciting. I have also been using bronzer on weekends and the Guerlain one makes me look actually tanned and not just dirty like all other bronzers I’ve used, maybe it’s true you get what you pay for.

*How good did Sasha Baron Cohen look at the Golden Globes, and his accent *purrrr*. I was pretty much in love with him, even as Borat, but I simply adore the real person. I love Isla Fisher though, she’s just so cute so I’d never wish that he’d leave her for me, if someone has to have him I’m glad it’s her.

* Am I a massive loser if I’m in bed on a Saturday night by 7:45pm? I am so tired I could fall asleep right now!

The rose colored glasses are off and it’s not all sunshine and pudding in the world of D’Jen anymore.

It’s nothing bad, and it happens every prac, it’s the day you realize that you have been working HARD every day for almost two weeks and you getting nothing for it. I do the same job as everyone else there, except I am free labor. There is nothing I can do about it, and it’s just part of the course, in fact it’s my last prac before my final internship, but I’m just a bit over it.

Specifically, it was eight washable Crayola markers which caused me to crack it today. K (my favorite) isn’t in today or tomorrow so I have no one to give me some love, so it was already an ordinary day, but B (another little boy who’s just two and literally NEVER stops, ever) was coloring in at the table but he wouldn’t put the lids back on the felts and he wouldn’t stop running off with one of them. I know I am only getting stressed because I was letting myself get worked up about it, at the end of the day they are felt pens, just felt pens, and B is just two, so he doesn’t know about felts drying out or staining carpets with felt pen ink. I got in a cranky mood and took the felts away and replaced them with colored pencils. It wasn’t just the felts, there is a number of little girls who refuse to listen to me, and will shake their head when I ask them to do anything and it’s just so frustrating to have people ignore you! I am also becoming hugely sleep deprived because I am forced to function on less than eight hours sleep (cry!) and I am pretty sure I am also getting sick.

I have been working from 6:45 till 3:15 with only a half hour break, I am just a bit over it. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day. I am going to g to bed super early and take lots of Vitamin C so I can just kick it through the next two weeks. Yesterday I took an hour break, I am meant to get an hour "programming time" but that never happens so I asked for  my time to be non contact time yesterday and sat in my car in an undercover shopping center car park and read a magazine. I just need time away from the center to stay sane.

When you are doing cotton bud paintings with the wee ones, and you asked your teacher if the paint stains, ignore her answer. She told me "Yes, it does wash out" and later when my assistant came back she said "yes, it will wash out, sometime in the next three weeks". I now have a gangrene thumb, pointer and middle finger on my right hand. The finger tips aren’t too bad but the skin under my nails and cuticles are really green. I am going to put in some work with a nail brush later tonight and hope for the best, I hate being dirty!! (P.S Yes, I am so much of a dork that I have colored snowflakes on my window, I think they are pretty!)

When I was at the Post Office today paying a bill, I saw they had half price calendars. They had the Dalai Lama one that I’ve looked at a number of times but never actually bought, but since it was only $11.50 I decided to splash out. I particularly like the quote from January 5th "I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy". Pretty much everything the Dalai Lama says seems to be so wise, he really must know his stuff

The current aspect of Buddhism I have rolling around in my mind is that of attachment. Being an extremely sentimental and pack rat-y person, I have an overwhelming urge to keep and have things which have the smallest degree of emotional value for fear of not having it, really. I read an analogy on line about how people have caught monkeys by using a coconut stuck to a tree with a little hole and something sweet inside. The monkeys reach in and grab the sweet but his fist won’t fit through the hole, trapping the monkey. The last thing a monkey will think of is letting go the sweet to free itself.

The concept of attachment in Buddhism is a lot more than just having things, it’s also covers letting possessions define you and your happiness, and I think I have kept a lot of things out of the pure fear of not having them, and what it might feel like not to have them. I read on one website that "you are not attached to things, you are attached to your ideas about things". I have become much less materialistic as I’ve gotten older, I can now appreciate I’m not a good person because I have an expensive bag, I’m not a nice person because I wear expensive shoes, if you took away all of those things I would still be me. It’s the having things which I am stuck on, but I can really see the other side of the coin now, I don’t need those things to feel happy, things come and go (or not so much go, in my case) but the world will keep on turning if I let things go.

I think I am going to do a massive clean out next weekend and let go of somethings. I am going to keep a few mementos just because I’d like to have some things to look back on, and keep a lot of uni things because the books have cost me SO much money over the years and are still useful to reference, but all the little bits and pieces I am going to either pass on to Little A, donate to Vinnies or just bin. I might even do a bit of a scab grab if any of the blog ladies are after bits and pieces, particularly handbags.

Not being a pack rat is about as big for me as not killing a spider, when I was two or three D’Mummy found a stash of Easter Egg foils under my bed because I thought they were too lovely to throw away, it’s been a part of me since the very beginning. I really trust that it’s the right thing to do, for the greater good, so I’m not worried about it. I’m not going to go to the extend of giving away all my clothes or my furniture or anything, so don’t panic, I’m just going to move on from having so much…excess.

I was in the car this morning with D’Mummy and I asked if I told her about my spider story. It turns out I hadn’t, so I told her and she seemed honestly awestruck that I was able to do it. She said "Wow, you should become a Buddhist then if you can do that", I saw that as my opening and decided to mention that I am going to be looking into Buddhism and am choosing not to eat meat anymore. D’Mummy was very positive, I sort of worried that she’d be all "What made you do this?" "How long is this fad going to last?" but she really wasn’t and I am very glad.

When I look back on my goals for the new year, almost all of them are in line with the main principals of Buddhism, so I guess that my way of thinking has been in line with the general Buddhist philosophy for a while now. A lot of my horoscopes have been saying this year is going to be different but really rewarding so maybe the whole Buddhism thing might have something to do with that. I think I’d also like to eventually meet a boy who is Buddhist, or even just someone who is naturally preoccupied with goodness and kindness, someone who is not a committed meat eater would also be nice.

Today I had a two hour Nanna nap with the air con on, it was heavenly!! I am so tired from waking up so early and just running around after little people most of the day it was nice to just crash, and the air con made it so easy to sleep. I love my bed so much, it’s so comfortable, I could probably live there without too much trouble if I had to.

**Nerdfest News**
I have also thought of making the next Nerdfest at the Plough Inn for a Sunday lunch/afternoon drinks, I am looking at the 4th February or the 28th January. Please let me know if you’d like to come and which date you’d prefer. I’m leaning towards the 4th because it’s not in the Australia Day weekend so it will probably be a bit less crowded. I am also going to need to make a reservation for lunch so please let me know as soon as
you can whether or not you will be coming. All you Brisbane Bloggers who have previously shunned us should come this time!!

 And finally, the lovely Deb found me a very appropriate banner for De-lurking week. I haven’t looked at my stats for a very long time so I’m not sure if I even have lurkers, but if you are out there please out yourself, I’d love to know who reads me!

OK, please forgive me for sounding like a terribly pretentious twit for a second and just hear me out and tell me what you think.

For a years, like at least seven or eight years, I have been really interested in Buddhism. I am a huge believer in karma and good intentions and just being a good person, and I think I would really like to be a part of something bigger than myself. I don’t really like organized religions for a number of reasons (not to mention that I don’t believe in God) but I really love the idea of being a part of a group of like minded individuals all sort of working towards the same ideals. I have read a tonne about Buddhism over the years and I really appreciate the idea that everyone is in control and responsible for their own actions and that it’s really about self development and following the teachings because you chose to and not because of what will or won’t happen to you.

It sounds like the stupidest thing ever, but choosing not to murder the spider the other day was a really big deal. I make the conscious effort to not go with my first reaction of crushing it and decided to just be scared but do something kind for something else. I know it sounds really stupid, I kind of want to punch myself for being so stupid, but it was actually a big deal.

I guess I am partly terrified of making this desire to become a Buddhist public, it will seem like a whim to everyone I know but it’s something I have wanted for the longest time. The not killing thing is something I will have to work on, I’ve done the vegetarian thing before and I think I would be prepared to do it again. I am not a very committed meat eater, so I certainly wouldn’t miss it, and it would probably be a good thing if I started to cook some of my own meals anyways. Since I have managed to let a spider live now, I know I can do it in future. Not stealing is very easy, I just wouldn’t do it because of the karma/do unto others deal so that’s not a problem. Avoiding sexual misconduct is a cinch, since I have done a pretty awesome job of avoiding all kinds of sexual conduct in say…eleven months, so that’s fine. Avoiding false speech will be hard, telling the truth is fine (for the most part but not speaking nastily about others will be a bit tricky, it’s not a bad thing if I stop doing this though, it will just be a bit tricky. Abstaining from drugs and alcohol will be the kicker. Drugs are not an issue, so that’s not a concern, but alcohol will be a bit tricky. I am not prepared to stop drinking all together right now, but if devout Catholics can live together before marriage, and Christians can swear and hate people, I figure a few drinks every now and then won’t make me a bad person.

Am I a total idiot for becoming a Buddhist? I know I won’t be a perfect
Buddhist, but I know that I am absolutely committed to trying, and I
know that I will feel much happier being a part of something. I would
really like to become a better, more enlightened person and I really
feel the teachings of Buddhism are in line with what I would like to
achieve. What do you all think? Is anyone out there a Buddhist or an
active member of any other sort of religion? Do you like it? Do you
think it makes a difference in day to day life?

OK, firstly, you should all be totally proud of me today, I did two things today that scare the pants off me:

1. Being the token tall person, I am almost always assigned to do "tall person jobs" while on prac. "Could you tidy the top shelf for me?" "Would you mind hanging those posters back up?" "Could you put this back in the top cupboard?" Today I was asked to thumb tack some gauzy curtains over the half walls on the kiddies bathrooms. I had to climb up a ladder to do this, a big ladder. They offered me a step ladder which had one side which was totally bend in, so I politely decline to climb up something which would in all probability send me crashing into a tiny basin leaving me with a head injury and chose to get out the giant ladder instead. It was really scary, I hate heights. I am OK as long as I don’t look down, but I really don’t enjoy spending time at heights, however great, being tall is high enough for me.
2. When I had hopped off the ladder to move it while hanging the curtains and noticed a fairly sizable spider re spinning it’s web between the legs of the ladder. The very same ladder I had carried clutched to my chest from outside. I resisted the urge to scream and tear off my shirt in case there was another spider on me and asked where I could find a cup to remove the spider from the situation. The spiders leg would have been about 8cm across so it wasn’t tiny, thankfully by the time I found a cup and paper plate it had tucked itself into a tiny ball. I knocked it to the group and scooped it up with the cup and plate and threw it outside. I’d like to believe by not mashing it into the bathroom floor I have earned some spider karma. Maybe I could become a Buddhist after all.

Today the wee ones were asleep and I was sitting at a tiny table with the other teacher, I noticed one of my little people K, standing next to his bed. I told him to hop back on his bed because it was still resting time. His little face just cracked up like I’d told him his parents had died, I said "Awww, K, come here" and held out my hand to him and he ran over at full speed and jumped in my lap, threw his arms around me and buried his head into my neck and started to cry. I could have just exploded from love at that moment, it was so freaking cute my ovaries ached! I asked him if he had a bad dream and he nodded. He sat on my lap clinging to me for about ten minutes with his head buried into my shoulder, sobbing on and off. I haven’t felt so needed in YEARS, it was really lovely. I really do love the tiny ones, they are just babies. K is the biter who can often get very excited and hurt others, and ignore what the teachers are saying, but at that moment he was just a little person who was a bit scared and in need of a cuddle. I think it will become a moment I remember for a long time.

P.S My make up arrived today, from Hong Kong! How good is that? I ordered on the 7th and it’s here already. The foundation is the wrong shade, it’s actually too pale for me. I am almost always the lightest shade in foundation, but not with Stila it seems. It’s a weird foundation, you pressed down on this sponge set in a compact and it looks really light and watery on your fingers, but when you put it on your face it’s really quite thick, and much lighter than it appears. I’ll just put it on eBay, I bought it for well below the RRP so I guess it’s alright. The meteorites on the other hand are just lovely, they seriously do make you look like you’re a picture taken through a soft lens, you can only just see all these tiny little sparkles which reflect the light making your skin look really soft and glowy. They also smell really good as well which is just an added bonus! Everyone go to StrawberryNet, just make sure you can afford to splash some cash!