Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

• It’s all sunshine and pudding again. More sleeping and watching The Office last night was very good. I really like The Office, both the U.S and British version, but I prefer the U.S one. That is a TV series I would buy on DVD, as well as American Dad. I should start buying them, D’Brother used to have tonnes of DVDs of TV shows but selfishly took the all when he moved out so I have had no good TV shows to watch. Something to think about.

• I had fallen desperately in love with a set of salt and pepper shakers on eBay. They are the awesomest ones ever and I will pay any amount to have them. I only wish I was joking. I am prepared to spend a stupidly large amount to own them because I can’t imagine not having them in my life. I would link them but I don’t want anyone to bid against me I love salt and pepper shakers and these are about the best ones that have ever existed in the universe. I am going to start selling salt and pepper shakers on eBay, it seems like a good way to make an absolute fortune. Why is old stuff so much cooler than new stuff?

• I have found the present I want to buy for Bestie’s engagement. It’s the coolest thing in the world, and we are possibly the only two people who’d think that but that’s OK. I want it badly and they seem to be the most successful gifts, the things I would just die to keep for myself, so I think it will be really good. I will be really sad if I can’t get it.

• I made some hula hoops this morning. I forgot to add in the elastic and one of them is a really weird shape as a result, however it hoops really well, so looks can be deceiving, I guess. Bunnings had a sale on electrical tape last time I was there which was lovely because that’s the most expensive part of making hoops but they didn’t have red. As everyone knows, without red nothing can go as fast as it should go, so it will be a bit sad to have a set of hoops without any red tape, but I am sure they will work out fine. My favorite hoop is green, black and grey so maybe my red theory is a bit flawed to begin with.

• If anyone in Brisbane knows where to buy Alchemy cordial on the Southside, please give me a shout. I am going to email to people to see if I can pick some up from their office rather than having to order 6 bottles from their website, or failing that I will go to the West End markets on Saturday morning because Wifey reckons they sell it there, I can’t remember though. It’s fairly essential for my cocktails, well, maybe not essential, but I like it and it would save me buying a bunch of other ingredients, so I would like to get some very much. I emailed them to see if I can pick it up from their office. Let’s hope they will be kind and helpful for me, I would really appreciate it. EDIT: They replied to my email (within the hour!) and said I am totally welcome to come to their factory, I can buy whatever quantities I would like and it is cheaper! Plus, she signed the email "Cordially yours" which I find hysterical, being a cordial company and all. I am feeling much Alchemy love at the moment! Everyone go and buy some because not only is it delicious, but they are also wonderful people too, it seems!

• I am going to start tidying our downstairs area for the weekend, so I don’t have to do it on Saturday morning. That is the least fun bit about having a party, cleaning everything on Saturday morning so if I do it now Saturday can just be a fun day. Hurrah!

• I worked out the cause of yesterday’s pity party. There are two reasons I can think of, lady plumbing and my neck. I am tentatively predicting more plumbing troubles,on Saturday night I had a random bout of the worst cramps ever and I feel all PMSy and pathetic most of the time, so my hormones are all over the shop. Also, this weather is awful! Whenever the rain gets set in my neck just aches. It feels like someone has run up and punched me in the base of my skull so it just has this dull ache, all of the time. It makes me feel really shit because it just hurts so much I only want to curl up on the floor and sob or just throw something at someone because I hate being in pain. So yeah, between those two things I am trying to be normal but the pathetic version of me is winning. Sorry. As much as we need the rain to be set in for quite a while, I might go insane if I have to deal with my neck for that long.

• I am so thankful uni is over for the year, I couldn’t bear to go this week. I am excited for next semester now, I still can’t quite comprehend that it will be my last. All I have ever done is school, sever years of primary school, five years of high school and what will be seven and a half years of uni. I don’t know how to do anything else. I have also almost definately locked in doing my final prac at the same place Wifey did hers. So that would be in the space of a few months I have gone from "I can’t even imagine doing that" to "I’m curious but I don’t think I’d handle it to"  to "OK, let me see if I could handle it for a couple of days" to "Sign me up, Shirey, I’m going bush!". I’m set to go, uni just has to confirm it all as part of the formality of confirming prac placements, but it’s pretty much all set. I think spending two months straight next year in the middle of nowhere should be a nice distraction from the fact uni will be all over after that and that I am going to move OS a few months after that. Next year is going to be big.

• I’ve decided to chop up my plastic fantastic. I just can’t have it anymore. It expires early next year so I won’t be without it for too long, but long enough to STOP USING IT. It’s not maxed but it’s a lot closer than I ever wanted to be, so it’s going. I signed up and got a bopo card so I can still buy things online/over the phone if I need to, but it will be using cash I actually have, as opposed to "free money". I am glad to do it, I’m not even upset about it. I know having a CC is good for your credit history and stuff should you want to make larger purchases somewhere down the line, but I don’t think I like them much. Eh, live and learn. My debt is a drop in the ocean compared to some people who have a number of cards maxed but I just don’t like to be in debt (I now realize… Getting older and wiser has it’s drawbacks).

• It’s my fake birthday on the weekend! It has come around so quickly. I can’t believe it is almost November. This year has gone by in a flash! When I was little it seemed as if a year was almost endless and these days you barely get used to writing "07" before it seems to be the next year. Bestie will be here in less than two weeks, I am so ready for some Bestie love!

• I just had a nanna nap. For other people I would be glad that they had the time and need for a nanna nap so they are all bright and sparky again, but for me nanna naps are the first thing I remember noticing when I was all sick and broken earlier in the year. I am really hoping it was a one off. It was a sneaky one because I didn’t even mean to fall asleep, I just remember waking up 45 minutes later. If this does happen to be round two I am going to rely of natural medicine since traditional medicine did fuck all for me last time. I went to the newsagent this afternoon and bought a magazine about natural medicine, I never just buy a magazine randomly, especially from a newsagent. I feel the Universe might have been giving me a hint.

• Sorry this is a crap Dotty McPoints, I am feeling really disorientated and spacey after my nanna nap (most of this post was written pre-nap but I didn’t have time to post it because I couldn’t keep my eyes open). Fingers crossed tomorrow’s will be is better.

It’s not quite as dramatic as it looks. I promise I am in high spirits and this is most certainly not the result of an attempt at self harm of any sort. But it did hurt, just a little bit, and it will stay with me forever (and I think it is significantly more attractive than outcome of any such injury). Though it was a bit curious to walk around the city with a bandages wrist, a couple of people were really wonderfully nice to me, but I’m not certain that it was because they wanted to be, or were too scared not to be kind to the girl with the bandaged wrist.

So what’s under the bandage? It would be the World’s Smallest Tattoo. My wee tattoo that I had permanently etched into me at midday today. I had been told tattoos feel like a cigarette burn, a scalpel cutting you or a cat scratch. I would suggest a cigarette burn is the most appropriate, combined with the sting of an injection. Piercing trump tattoos as far as I am concerned on the pain scale, but as mine is so weeny it didn’t have that much of a chance to hurt. It took just two minutes (literally, just two) which was enough time to deal with the sting, but enough time to make me not want to line up for a full sleeve anytime soon. I really wanted white but I got the distinct impression that it wasn’t going to be an option so black it was. The guy who did it was just lovely, I told him I didn’t want to watch so he told me that was fine. He did a little line first to check it was OK…I am not sure who’d back out after that? Surely the pain of a tattoo is worth not having to walk around with just a tiny line of a tattoo on you? So I survived it, then found out the place doesn’t take EFTPOS so I left Jac as collateral while I ran to the ATM. The most uncomfortable part was the tape pulling on my skin and the feeling of the tattoo goo stuff sitting under the non stick dressing, it felt slimey and gross. Thankfully it only had to be on for two hours so I didn’t have to deal with it for too long. After it was done it looked exactly how I pictured it in my mind and just seemed to be a really natural part of me. It was bizarre because I assumed it would be hard to get used to but now it feels like I wouldn’t be me without out. I think that’s a really good sign that it was the right thing to do and that I got it for the right reasons. I also didn’t have a tinge of regret, or feel scared before hand which is very unusual for me, I just knew it would be good.

So, what does it look like?!
That’d be it, over there, just three hours old and looking pretty peachy, if I do say so myself. I  was planning to get a star , in the traditional sense. I had sussed out a designed and commited to it and all but last night when I went to print out the sheet I just noticed another design I’d not paid attention to before and it just seemed like the only one I could live with forever. So it’s a star, but more of a real star than a cartoon-y one. Plus it’s not something that is super common and it’s a bit ageless, so it’s not something I’d feel embarrassed to have if I make it to 40 or 50, you know? So there you have it. I got a tatoo. One thing on my life list that is done and dusted. Only a few people knew, Bestie didn’t, until she reads this She’s not a bit tattoo fan so I wanted to leave it as a surprise for her, so, ta da, darling! I called Wifey just after I had it done and she was really excited for me, despite also being anti tattoo. Jac also really likes it, and she is also anti tattoo, so if I can impress my harshest critics then I am pleased. Not that it really matters though, I am very pleased with it and that’s the most important bit! 

…is this what it feels like when your wildest dreams come true?!

I am calling BS about this, as it seems every celebrity couple tends to be reported as broken up at least once every 3 weeks, but I am also getting my hopes up just a smidge. I only wish I was joking, only I could get excited about a celebrity being single because that means that my desperate wish to run away with Ellen might actually be possible now (without having to be a home wrecker). The celebrity/age/location factor doesn’t come into it, she’s possibly single now, so game on. I never liked Portia, she doesn’t seem like Ellen’s type. I’m quite certain she doesn’t appreciate Ellen’s twinkly eyes as much as I do.

How heartbreaking to think Ellen might be upset now. I was watching one of the police shows and they caught up with a  guy who ran away from them and he was crying at saying that he was scared so he ran away. I would be a wreck if I made someone cry like that, I would have to sit down and cry with them. I never realized I was such a sucker. Wifey’s friend J called me "Carebear’ for a day while we were up the coast after I got upset  and opened the door when she shut Wifey on the balcony as a joke, because it was mean. Turns out that maybe she was right!

P.S Tomorrow will be a blogging day you’ll want to be around for. That’s all I’m saying.

Edit: Yeah, I was right. It’s OK though, as long as Ellen is happy I can deal with it. I will have to keep looking for a back up wife. Yeah, I’m that much of a stalker I browsed the celeb news sites this morning to get something to confirm or deny the rumour, crazy much? (P.S Ellen, if we do get married one day can I borrow that handbag sometime?)

P.P.S Today’s the day.

• Fuck it. I should be writing an assignment right now, but I am not. You know when you get sort of off track but then you can pull yourself back into line and keep going, then other times you get so off track it’s easier to just do something else for a bit then go back to it later. Right now would be the latter. It’s all good, I only have like 1000 more words to write, I came across a bit just now that links to ideas that I never thought I’d be able to link which suggests 1) I am a genius because I knew those two ideas DO go together, even if I couldn’t work out how to do it 2) I am right in thinking that because a published author thinks the same thing. He’s in the set text so it’s not even like some random, obscure source I found to support my point. Score.

• OK, you wanna know something really exciting? Like so exciting I could squeal, and may even do so at some point? Wifey is hanging around until Boxing Day. Do you even grasp how exciting that is?! I don’t get two, pissy weeks with her when she gets back from the bush, I get like two months! It’s incredibly exciting, but also super for her. She gets to graduate with all her colleagues at the December graduation, she gets more time to pack up her life and sell her car and all the "moving overseas" crap you have to do before you hightail it. Plus she’ll get to be in London for New Years which I am certain will be a fair bit more exciting than anything Brisbane can come up with. I was actually starting to pep talk myself this last week about how it will be OK when she goes (all the same things I did before Bestie left, and like when Bestie left we also had a "trial separation" while she went around the world for a few months before she actually moved away) but now I don’t have to do that right now. Very similar situations really, but I’m pretty sure it will be OK.

• Dude, I think I’m high right now. I can see out one of our front windows and I can see our neighbor from across the road walking around in the tree tops in the back of his yard. That’s not possible? He’s walking around like he’s on the ground, so I assume he has some sort of platform thing as opposed to just standing on a ladder, but I can’t see anything for all the trees so it just looks like he’s hovering. Trippy. It must be a pretty freaking high platform thing as well, cause those trees are super tall.

• Wifey mentioned that she may go back out to her school for the circus camp that is coming out in a months time, because she’ll still be back here. I would leap at the chance to go too. Circus!? The country?! Seeing those stars again?! I am so there. It’s only very tentative, so I am trying my hardest not to get excited but I might start practicing hula hoop super hard to impress the circus people, just in case. I did check that she wouldn’t go insane and dump me in the bush if we did the drive again together, and she assures me she was being a mole and shouldn’t have gotten angry at me, I maintain that I was annoying (without meaning to be, but I can totally see how I am annoying) and it was deserved. It has become a moot point because whenever it is raised she keeps arguing she was a mole (her words, not mine) and I continue to insist I just not talk so much. I was honestly not aware of exactly how much noise I make, but when I think about it, I am capable of just not stopping, just continual talking. I can totally see how that would make someone insane, it would make me insane. So I learned something, so it’s all good, as far as I’m concerned. (Side note: how much do I love the word "mole"? (lots) I’ve loved it for a long time but you don’t often get a chance to use/hear it in every day life…unless you are a mole, I suppose. So if nothing else I’m rather chuffed Wifey has used it so frequently lately, because I like it).

• I am almost definite about going to Wifey’s school next year for my intern and prac. Because of the dates for the pracs it works out to being only a week in between pracs which isn’t a long time if I have to drive for two days to get home, then two days to go back (I won’t drive at night in the bush. Getz v Kangaroo is not a fight I wish to participate in), so I am looking at staying for two months straight. It’ll be the longest I’ve ever been away from Brisbane, especially by myself, but how could I not? Can you even imagine how good it would be for me to have to handle two months alone a very long way from home? I totally need that. I only need to sort out accommodation, I could stay in the quarters but I am WAY too much of a sissy to stay there alone. It was fine with Wifey being there because she’s heaps braver than me (although I found out this week she’s as scared of spiders as I am, which changes things) and she knows how to do stuff, so she could make the hot water go and turn the stove on using one of those long, candle lighting lighters. I can’t do any of those, plus the fact it doesn’t lock or have proper walls, I just couldn’t handle it. I know my limits…and they would be walls…and locking doors. Any volunteers to come be my token brave person for two months in the bush? i can’t even offer to cook you food in return, I can’t really do that either. You’ll have to come solely for my quick wit and sparkling personality and sexual favors. (Jokes, you know I don’t have a quick wit

• Am I an alcoholic if I want to go to Dan Murphy’s just to browse and be in the presence of that much alcohol? I have loved Dan Murphy’s for a while, but I think I truly love it now. They just have so much variety (and you all know my feelings towards variety) and they just have everything you could ever wish for, plus it’s so cheap! I got Archer’s Spri there when I went there with Wifey before we left Brisbane, I didn’t think they even made Spri anymore but Dan Murphy’s had them! What’s not to love? I need to browse for my party anyways. Also, are pina coladas yucky? I’ve tried it before but I don’t really remember (I may or may not have been off my face at the time). I recall them being rather creamy, and very pineapple/coconut-y. They aren’t a drink you could mix with other drinks, are they? Being so creamy and all? I am thinking of Blue Lagoons, Mojitos and one other choice as my signature cocktails for my party. I need something tropical/Hawaiian. Maybe some sort of crazy punch?

• Well, it’s currently 12:21pm on a Saturday and I am still on my pj’s with un-brushed teeth. I know, I’m classy as hell. I am going to go and make myself human so I can go to D’Nanny’s and argue with her about the sailor pants I want her to make for my luau party. How much more retro beachy can you get than sailor pants? (no more, sailor pants are the epitome of kitsch) There will be a fight because it’s short notice (not really, but she’ll reckon so) nor do I want "proper" sailor pants with 1937498374 buttons across the sides and top. I want bastardized sailor pants, I just want the buttons up the sides and I want them to look awesome and be the right mix of "tailored" without be too stuffy or proper. She loves to tell me that it’s impossible and no one wears things like that these days, and they just won’t work but I’m sure D’Nanny will work something out, she always does.

I have wanted to write a life list for a little while now.

When Wifey’s friend, J ,came down from North Queensland during the school holidays she was talking about it and mentioned that if you write the things you want to do during your life, big or small, significant or insignificant it’s amazing how many of them start to happen. It was just something she mentioned in passing and I didn’t really think anything of it at the time, but obviously a seed was planted because I’ve thought about it for weeks on end now. You can call it The Secret or whatever you like, but I think it’s just simply a way of explicitly stating what you want from your existence and then because you’ve put it out there for the Universe, things can start to happen for you. You don’t even have to believe that, you can make a life list and make a very concentrated effort to make things happen for yourself, however you want to let it happen is fine, there are no rules.

As far as I can tell, John Goddard seems to be popular for his life list. When he was 15 he made a list of 127 things he wanted to achieve in his lifetime. He has a lot of points about exploring places and what not, but he’s achieved most of them so that’s pretty impressive. My list is a little bit less grand, but it’s incredibly important to me. I actually had a big cry when I was making it, putting everything you’ve ever hoped for down onto a single piece of paper (or, more specifically, the little paper bag that covers a clean drinking glass in the sleeper carriage [I had no paper!]) is rather overwhelming and the thought of having stated them now, and having them not happen is a bit heartbreaking. I also realized how different the way I go about my day to day life is, compared to the way I’d like to be living, but that is something to work on, I have some direction now. I’m not sure if having spent twelve hours in a little sleeper cabin of a train is essential for the mental clarity I had when I wrote mine, maybe it was more the rocking motion. I suggest a trip to Charleville, or back if you want to write a good list…it worked for me anyways, plus you’ll also be able to use the paper bag that covers the glasses to write your list on.

You can Google it if you want to read more. One site I read goes into a whole bunch of stuff about goal setting. I don’t see it so much as a goal, I just want all this stuff to happen so it will, it’s that simple. It also went on about setting small, achievable goals so you don’t get disheartened if things don’t happen. Rubbish, I say, why dream small? If you want a big giant house one day, then want it, don’t scale it down because of the housing market or interest rates. It doesn’t have to happen tomorrow, but if you want it badly then one day it could happen, so why be constrained by the realms of possibility. Anything is possible if you really believe that.

Without much further ado, I present to you:

Life List (as of 11.10.2007)

Now updated as of 10 June, 2008

• graduate an undergrad degree and do postgrad work Finished my degree June 08 and have applied for my Masters
• get a tattoo Have five now, and counting
• own a house
• visit every continent
• go to Las Vegas, Italy, Spain and Morocco
• get married
• own a dog
• live by the sea
• be a published author (in any sense of the word) Can you believe it!?!
• sing in public (well)
• go on a cruise
• get a matching ring set and wear it with someone who will value it and want to wear it as much as I do
• be a parent and raise a spectacular person
• buy and learn to fly a kite
• run a marathon
• win a prize home
• adopt an Asian baby
• live in at least three different countries
• learn to play guitar
• grow my own veggies
• have a beautiful home
• give blood
• be an excellent daughter/sister
• always do random acts of kindness
• run my own cafe/shop
• go camping
• be a fantastic teacher that children will remember
• buy a pair of beautiful and impractical heels for no reason other than the fact they are lovely
• be thankful
• speak at least three languages fluently
• be the person someone else wouldn’t want to live without
• visit every state in Australia
• learn to play chess
• teach someplace “uncomfortable” Survived teaching in remote Western Queensland for two months
• stay true to myself
• be a really good hula hooper
• be a friend people are thankful to have
• watch a sunrise and sunset
• cook something amazing
• maintain my faith in the Universe
• stop worrying Zoloft, how I love thee
• do all things I want to do even if they are scary or hard

I know it’s not spectacular or amazing, but if I could do all those things during the course of my life, I’d be pretty thrilled. I don’t think I will leave it at that though, I am going to add to my list as I see fit. I don’t know if that gels with the official life list rules, but I don’t care, I think it needs to be a working document.

If you want me to elaborate on any points I am happy to, and if you want to make your own life list please feel free, I think it’s a very nice idea. The ring thing is solely in reference to these rings which I am entirely enamored with (still) and I would just die to share the set with someone (but they’d have to want to wear it as much as I do, I don’t want any gestures of ring sharing sympathy, I’m willing to wait for someone who wants it).

• I wrote a long Dotty McPoints last night, then Mozilla froze and shut down and I lost every last letter of it, even after it offered to restore my previous Firefox session for me. Bitches. That’ll teach me for using a Windows laptop.

• The last post of my Longest Post Evers is coming, probably tomorrow. It will be rather epic so start preparing now.

• This Dotty McPoints isn’t a good as the one I lost. I was feeling particularly articulate yesterday and as a result it was, dare I say, well written for a change. Today, however, is a Monday morning, which means I have uni, then work, then tutoring meaning right now will be my most functional time of day. I wish someone would come and pick the clothes I want to wear today, it’s too big a decision at the moment. I want to wear black pants, and my newest pair of pointy shoes, but outside of that I can’t work out what else. Maybe I’ll go black and white today, I feel rather monochrome this Monday morning.

• I bit the bullet and asked some people to come to my birthday. I have an almost paralyzing fear about having a birthday party, I have no worries about inviting people out/over for any other reason but I just feel certain that people would have better things to do than do something for my birthday. It’s silly, I know, but I just keep replaying in my mind that I will organize something for my birthday and no one will want to come, and that would be heartbreaking. It hasn’t even happened to me, but I have avoided doing anything specifically for my birthday for a number of years for this reason. So I thought I’d ask if anyone would like to do something before I actually sorted out what to do, and people do want to. It’s such a busy time of year for most people as well, I feel sort of bad taking up a Saturday night, but I suppose I’ll have to get over that. Now….what to do? I think a party at home might be easier, plus heaps cheaper for everyone and I can dress up and not look like a total twit.

• How bad is it that I don’t want to be single just so I have someone to go with to a hotel/resort that only has doubles accommodation. I was browsing wotif and all the places are for doubles. Sorry, I am not a double, I could go alone but that is rather boring, I’d rather bring six or so friends with me, but no, seven people can’t sleep in a double bed. Well, we could but I’d prefer not to have to pay for the pleasure of such an experience. Thanks hotels for reminding me how sad and lonely my existence really is! Can you have friend with benefits that you take to a hotel to stay with for the purpose of not going alone? I read in the paper this morning that the number one rule for having a friend with benefits (for the traditional purpose) is not to have romantic feelings for them. I might not be getting it, but how could you sleep with someone you don’t feel a bit romantically towards? Clearly being a giant skank won’t be a career option for me, because I personally just couldn’t separate the two…which is probably why my one and only experience with "friends with benefits" turned into a massively confusing and fairly heartbreaking experience (though more power to anyone who can do it successfully, it would be handy at times). Live and learn. Can I have like a part time partner? Someone who I like to hang out with and is really funny and I can hook up with them if I require, but they just aren’t annoying and frustrating. I don’t really care to change many of my plans to suit anyone else, or be bothered with all the stuff like jealousy and stuff that comes with a real relationship. Or is that to much to ask, or is that just what a "normal" relationship is like?

• I really should be having breakfast and getting ready for uni/work. I think it might be the last week of uni this week, or maybe next week? Either way, after next week Wifey will be back and I will be busy squeezing out every last drop of quality time before she pisses off OS never to be seen again so I don’t see myself doing much of anything else. She asked me to write her itinerary for when she is back, before she goes away. I’ll have to get her to make a list of all the things she wants to do, I know 80s roller skating was mentioned and dammit, you just don’t dangle carrots like that unless you actually mean it! I might cry if it doesn’t happen.

• K, this is all I am going to be capable of this morning. I promise the post that got eaten was tonnes better than this one, hang out for the next Longest Post Ever, that should be pretty alright. Happy Monday!

So, what other stories can I share? I might tell all the worthwhile ones right now because the last part of my epic will be about my life list. So here are some more stories, and some more picture. Good times.

• Roma (or The Town That Hates D’Jen). We arrived in Roma about 8pm on Saturday night, the drive from Chinchilla to Roma wasn’t good. It was very, very dark and there was lots of road trains which made me nervous, because I hadn’t seen proper road trains before, much less proper darkness. You could see nothing except for an occasional set of headlights, my mind started to add stuff in and I started seeing lots of overpasses over the road because I had never seen such complete nothingness before my brain was adding "familiar" stuff in. We rocked in to the main part of town and it was going off dead. We hadn’t eaten so we wanted to find some dinner but there was very few places, aside from pubs which were open (and pubs, especially country pubs, aren’t known for their vego fare). We found a pizza place which had a group of people in it so we went in to order, when we got to the counter and ordered the veggie pizza the girl looked me up and down and seemed to be making "check this out" eyes to the group of young people who were sitting at a booth behind us. After we ordered we went down to an ATM down the street and Wifey asked if we had two heads. I noticed we got the full "who the fuck are you" look from the pizza girl and her gang of young people when we walked in, but I assumed I was just being sensitive but Wifey noticed it too. Neither of us were dressed particularly "city" so the only reason they had to be staring was the fact we weren’t local or because we were alone together. We didn’t hang around too long after we had eaten then high tailed to the "holiday park" we were staying at. I just didn’t get a good feeling from Roma, I know it was only one person influencing that, but you know, first impressions.

• Rear View Mirror (or why D’Jen would have been punched if Wifey wasn’t so patient). AS we pulled up in Roma to have dinner the rear vision mirror fell off. As far as I know it was not at risk of falling off previously, but it just fell off when Wifey brushed it as she was getting out of the car. We assume it was all the flicking when the road trains would be behind us that probabaly loosened it and it only took a tiny knock to get rid of it all together. Sunday morning we found a tiny hardware that was open and set about finding some sort of glue to stick it back on. I suggested 3M strips because they seem to be terribly sticky and work immediately which where the two criteria I thought would best provide a solution to the problem at hand. Wifey was set on finding laminate glue which she had been told will stick anything to anything. We couldn’t find it, so we bought something called "Rear Vision Mirror Adhesive" because apparently it must be a fairly common problem if there is a specially made adhesive. Adhesive would be a very loose term to describe what this was, I suggest smearing the mirror stem bit with honey and pressing it aginst the windscreen would have been more effective than this "glue". I should add that if you know me, you will know I talk. If I don’t know you (or like you) I’m fairly quiet, but should I chose you, you will never hear the end of it. I don’t do it to be annoying, I just rarely stop to think people may not appreciate my commentary/suggestions as much as I enjoy giving it. I do try and be helpful though, so it’s not the fact I enjoy hearing my own voice, I do it with good intentions. I thought I was providing useful suggestions/commentary on our issue at hand but all I did was piss Wifey off, badly, and she snapped a little bit. After it became very clear that our rear vision mirror adhesive wasn’t going to become tacky and start sticking (despite it’s promises to do so) I left Wifey to hate me/anything/everything and went and got some liquid nails and a roll of duct tape (as a last resort). The liquid nails worked (as I knew it would) and we were on our way not too long after it became obvious the mirror would hang around in place for quite a while to come. And that’s the first time ( I think) Wifey wished she left me in Chinchilla.

• The storm (or the day we could have died). After our very dusty drive around the property we cleaned up a little bit and headed off back to town. The sky looked pretty ripe and there was a couple of spits but we figured nothing would come of it. We were maybe fifteen minutes from the sealed road when the rain started, within a couple of minutes it was coming down in sheets and the trees were whipping around wildly, I have never seen rain like it. Because it rained so heavily so quickly there was massive puddles on the side of the road, that is where we were told to drive because of the huge rocks in the middle part of the road which is really best to drive on if you have a 4wd. So we are driving at like 30k/hr trying to stay on the road/not get bogged/not get swept off the road/not hit a roo or other animal, the rain for the puddles is splashing all over the windscreen and with the heavy rain you could really not tell which end was up, it was pretty exciting. When we got back to town we dropped into school and the lady who owns the place we were staying at came into school as well, she said they’d had a mini tornado through the property and had trees down all over the place and the seven massive water tanks they had (not yet plumbed in) where all missing and they’d had 40mm of rain in about 30 minutes. She said she’d

  called the place we had left from to tell us to wait until the storm passed but was told we’d already left, apparently if we weren’t at school they were going to begin a search because we are really, really lucky we didn’t get bogged or washed off the road. It turns out all of the water tank were just trashed and entirely wrecked. One was blown into a creek bed which would be like 3.5 kms from their house, as seen in the picture (and the tanks were even further out than that!), keep in mind the tank would be taller than a person and a good few meters around. Crazy.

• Drinking with a Principal. The day after the storm we headed in Charleville and spent some time at the school of Distance Ed. It was fantastic, I totally loved it and would kill to be a distance ed teacher (if not only to entertain famous person fantasies of sitting in a radio studio with fancy mics and control panels, but as part of doing my JOB!). When we got back home we swung by school to check emails and Wifey saw her teacher who had a meeting and told her we’d drop by later so they could catch up to talk about her teaching. We headed over about 6pm with a bottle of wine because Wifey told me that her Principal and her husband often indulge in a pre-dinner drink. We started off with a glass of wine but Wifey stopped after one top up because she was driving, being an alcoholic wine lover I did not resist the numerous top ups and found myself to be rather smashed. Her Principal and her husband were just lovely, they had lots of good stories and the absolute, most sweetest dog in the universe. I don’t like big dogs usually but Trigger was a total pussycat and how could I hate a dog who loves cheese and wine as much as me? I think we might have been soul mates.

• Stars. On the way home from drinks (when I was pretty well entirely smashed and Wifey was a good bit tipsy) we stopped to open the gate and Wifey told me to hop out and look at the stars. I really have no words to properly describe how entirely awe inspiring the universe is. It was like being in a planetarium, you could see that the sky is a dome shape and every single star that has ever existed was visible. We turned off all the car lights so we were standing in the middle of no where in almost pitch darkness just star gazing. The only light we could see were the spotlights on roo shooters cars which would have been more than 20k’s away. Their lights lit up the entire horizon because there are hardly any trees in the way, it was amazing. You could hardly make out any constellations because there was just thousands and thousands of stars, we could even see the milky way stretching right down the middle. Because I was pretty pissy, and simply dumbstruck with the enormity of the universe and the world in general, I asked, out loud, if the Universe could show me a shooting star, to affirm my beliefs about everything. Less than a minute later I saw one streak right across the star. I know it’s a total cheese ball moment but I seriously almost cried because it meant to much to actually have something you believe in so wholeheartedly affirmed to you. We stood leaning on opposite sides of the car, staring up at the sky and chatting for about an hour. It was one of those moments that isn’t really anything particularly special for any particular reason, but I know I won’t ever forget it. I will never forget what the universe is capable of, it’s just insane.

So that’s about it. The last part of my post will be about my train trip and my life list. If you don’t know what a life list is I will explain it all and post my own. I’m not sure if it was spending 12+ hours in a tiny space (by that stage) or experiencing the country, or just a mix of everything but I had a bit of a cathartic moment after I’d written it all down and I can’t help but feel it’s the very cliched "new leaf" I have turned over.

For now, I am going to go and starfish in my big bed (because sleeping in single beds isn’t really that much fun, even if they are in the country) and dream about proper, juicy stars and other wonderful things because despite the fact I am very single, about to drown in assignments, lose a very good friend to overseas and the fact I started work today, things are pretty freakin’ peachy and I am very glad to be alive.

Go make a cup of tea. No, really, this will be a bit epic, and you’ll need something to get you through. If you don’t drink tea get a coffee, or water, or even a glass of a Marlborough sauv blanc (it’ll be quite lovely). OK, so you’ve all be warned, without much further ado, I present to you: D’Jen’s Outback Adventure/Mind Awakening/Life Lesson Learning: Part One. There will be more parts to come, I am assuming two more after this one, but I have bigger fish to fry, namely "assignment fish".

Firstly, let me talk about beds. Saturday night saw Wifey and I in Roma. More about Roma later, I’m talking beds just now. Clearly my idea of a luxury cabin in a holiday park and that of the owners of the aforementioned holiday park differ slightly, it was perfectly alright, but not what I expected. So that bed was one of the world’s tiniest double beds, it was reasonably firm and also accompanied by the world’s loudest air conditioner. Neither of us slept very well. Sunday through to Tuesday was spent in Wifey’s house, otherwise known as shearer’s quarters, no, really, actual shearer’s quarters. The beds in the quarters ranged from actual antiques with steel mesh or springs and basic metal bed frames from the early 80s, when you top the later with a couple of foam mattresses it looks like quite a decent bed, but when you hop into it it is really much closer to a hammock. So I spend a couple of nights in a glorified hammock, the first night was a bit rough (for a number of reasons) but I got used to hanging very low in my bed and started sleeping OK. Last night was spend on the train. I only bought a sitting up ticket because I did not want to pay a fair bit more to sleep in a tiny room with one (possibly two) randoms, as the train left Charleville the train attendant guy announced they had spare sleepers and you could upgrade for $50. I asked about it and he said I could have one to myself. As far as I’m concerned only $50 for a tiny hotel room is pretty sweet, so I upgraded. It was really awesome, I had the equivalent of a three seater sofa
to myself for the whole ride, plus I could sleep on a proper bed like thing. When the man came to pull the bed out for me I realized they basically became little coffin sized bunks but I was tired and ended up crashing for a couple of hours…in between violent coughing as the dust and crap from what was the back of the sofa rained down on me as it has become the underside of the bunk above. I wouldn’t want to be sleeping on the bottom of two other bunks if they were occupied. I slept well until about 3am when I woke up with a sore back. it’s only a sore spot on one side, and I don’t really know why because I slept lying flat but it might be because the train bed was so firm compared to my other bed and that made my spine sad. Either way I am still paying for it, many hours later.

Secondly. If you think you are a little obsessive compulsive, go to the bush for a few days, you’ll be cured. I have: taken cold showers, been really, really dirty, sat on the grass, drunk from a bottle with no straw, had flied crawling all over me, lived in a place covered with thick dust, slept on communal mattresses, used shared bathrooms and survived to talk about it. On Monday Wifey and I visited a
property of some kids who come to her town for sport but are students of the school of Distance Ed. They live about 40km out of Wifey’s town, most of which is unsealed road. Anyways, we went out and watched the kids being taught by their Mum, helped out and bit and listened in on the on air lessons they had with the Distance Ed teachers. In between this they also had a break for "smoko" during which Mum took out a plain sponge she’d baked earlier and spread it with jam and made whipped cream to fill it with, as well as a pot of real tea and brought out some pre-baked banana cake. After school had finished (1:30pm) we stayed for lunch which was quiche (vego, made especially for Wife and I from the eggs of the wickedly free range chickens that the kids have as pets who lay eggs in an empty flowerpot on the verandah) and salad and coleslaw with veggies grown in her garden. Her husband was working on their property so she offered to take us for a drive to see her property and see what her husband was doing. Their property car had it’s read windscreen pop out a few days beforehand and she warned we’d get dirty. I had already learned that there is red dust everywhere and you can’t stay too clean out there, but she kept insisting
we’d get very dirty. I decided to roll with it and just be dirty. I
climbed in (literaly, in the back door of the 4wd and over the back seat) and sat down on the seat which was caked with red dust (as was the rest of the car) and we headed off. Normally, I would resist posting such a horribly unattractive photo of myself, but I feel it’s necessary for the story. This is the result of an hour or so of driving through a huge property (90,000 acres), I like to call it my "Woodlands Tan". Ignore my horribly dirty, windswept hair. I had my big sunnies on which is why I have a little brown nose and chin and relatively normal rest of face, you can also see the white stripe on my collar bone where my shirt was resting until I moved. I had to have cold shower after we made it home that day (another story, yet to come) and the color that washed out of my hair was amazing, I also blew my nose and mud came out. Isn’t dust lovely?

I lost my antibiotics a couple of days ago in one of my bags so I’ve been doing without and currently have tonsils that are as sore as ever, so I can’t be bothered to write anymore. I have stories about the NDE (near death experience) Wifey and I had coming home from the dusty day, the night I got pissy drinking with her teacher, the story about the stars, the many times I almost drove Wifey insane and all the stuff I learned or worked out being without phone, internet, TV, radio, light, sound and civilization for a week. Stay tuned!

• Because of the distinct lack of loving on my previous post I am out of here!…Or it may just be time to go on the mini break that has been planned for a month or so, but it’s much more dramatic if I pretend to storm off in a huff. I am not sure how to take it all, it’s essentially a holiday for me because I get time off uni but it’s internship for Wifey so I can’t really have too much fun because she should be in a "uni" mindset and I don’t want to distract her, but really, road trip! What’s not to be at least a bit excited about!? It’ll be my longest road trip ever (well, that I can remember, no wait, that’s a lie. I went on a bus to the Whitsundays with school but that’s not so much a road trip as it is over twelve hours trapped in a metal van containing rising stress levels, bubbling teenage hormones and giddy excitement). No crappy magnet competition this time, I doubt there is any souvenirs to buy where I am going.

• I went to the shops this morning. I feel relatively fine and dandy compared to the next few days but I still have a fairly impressive cough and the sniffles. Let me tell you, it’s the quickest way to clear a path through the school holiday crowd. I was in a shop yesterday and coughed and a woman turned around and glared at me as if I’d spat in her hair. I covered my mouth when I cough and turned away so I wasn’t coughing in the direction of anyone but this still wasn’t good enough for her. I’d like to know what she thinks would be suitable. It’s a very tickly cough so if I try and suppress it it will only turn out worse when it becomes spluttering coughing episode when I can hold it no longer. I can’t remember ever being grossed out by someone coughing, as long as one’s mouth is covered then it’s all good.

• I was in Diva this morning (yes, cheap and nasty jewellery Diva, I love it there. $4 necklaces, yes please!) I was looking around and the girl said hi, so I said hi, then she asked what I had bought. Excuse me? I didn’t realize we’d become BFF, isn’t it a bit rude to ask someone what they’ve bought? I didn’t want to be that person, so I told her I bought some tops (because I had), but it was so random. She didn’t even use the conversation as a chance to try and sell me something, which I assumed she would, it seems she was just being nosey. It was only a Jeans West bag as well, it’s not even an exciting store. I can understand someone asking if you’d had a bit of a friendly convo with a sales assistant and then they’d ask that because it was relevant to the convo, but not right after "hi". Is it just me or is it a bit rude?

• I am trying to find a nice cookie recipe, I think I might bake something for the road trip this afternoon. I have no idea what sort of cookies I want to make, which is making it difficult, just something really yummy, but not sickly sweet and not crunchy, they have to be soft. Martha came through for me, I knew she would.

• I start my new job next Friday. I have to work out how to quit nicely. I might send a sneaky email tomorrow morning before I leave and will be out of mobile reception for most of the week so they can’t call me. Childish, yes.

• Living like a rockstar has it’s benefits (aside from the whole crashing and burning after a week of it), I’ve lost like 2kg. It’s probably because I haven’t really eaten because I have been too busy or entirely unable to consider eating, but either way it’s a bit exciting…let’s just not think about all the badness of excessive drinking, too little sleep and not eating, I’m looking for the silver lining, OK?

• Well, that’s it from me! I will be without mobile reception for a good portion of my trip and internetz access will be hit and miss when it isn’t entirely non existent so I will essentially just have dropped off the face of the earth until next Thursday. I get back about midday but having spent 17 hours on a train I am not sure if I’ll be in a state fit to blog so I guess I’ll see you all in a week…if I never return Wifey and I may have just kept driving and you may find us living near a beach in a wee coastal town…we I may or may not be drunk and hopefully I’ll have a killer tan and beachy hair. If this happens you are totally welcome to come stay with us, I’ll make sure we have a spare room. Later, Taters!