Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

Right now, at this very moment, I have some of my clothes strung up on a little clothes line in my tiny bathroom, having done some handwashing in the bathtub. The hotel was meant to have a laundry, but when I asked about it this morning I was told it was out of order and to go to the laundromat down the street. I set off with my bag of undies and a few other dirty clothes and looked for the sign with a “24″ on it, which I was told was the laundry…Good plan, except I forgot that half of Tokyo is 24/7, so having a sign with “24″ is about as useful as telling someone to look for a sign with red on it. I stopped by my local 100yen shop and bought a tiny clothes line and some washing powder and did my washing, DIY style, as many loads as I like for $2. Noice.

I could say I’m loving it here, but that wouldn’t be true. Saying I was merely “loving it” would be a gross, sweeping understatement of the love affair that has been created between Tokyo and myself. A piece of me will die next Tuesday and I won’t get it back until I return here to live. Tokyo has exceeded my every expectation. It’s such a mind blowing, confusing, crazy, simple, complex, magnificent and unique place that I think you really have to experience to truly understand.

• Trains come approximately every 3 milliseconds on the line my hotel is closest too. They take me any place I could ever want to go, are never late, and cost like $2 a trip.
• 100yen shops are the best invention ever. You could arrive in Tokyo empty handed and if you dropped $150 in a 100yen store you could set up your entire house, aside from big furniture items. You can buy everything bathroom/toiletry related, everything kitchen related, soft furnishings, outdoor/garden sort of stuff, stationery, beauty stuff, decorating items, food and so much more. The best part is the every 100yen store has different stuff, so you can never get bored of it…or I couldn’t, anyways.
• It’s perfectly alright to go anywhere or do anything alone. All the places I’ve eaten have a bunch of tables for people who are alone, I’ve eaten out three times alone and never once felt at all weird about it. I catch trains alone (and are usually not hassled), walk places alone, take pikura alone, shop alone, live alone and so do thousands and thousands of other people. Everyone has a group of friends, so it’s not as if people don’t have anyone to hang with, it’s just that life here is so insane that you end up doing a lot alone, and it’s perfectly ok.
• I got home at 11 on Wednesday night, and my area was pumping. The station was packed, the train was busy and there was just so much happening. The only thing you can do at 11pm on Wednesday in Brisbane is hang out at a 7-11 or Night Owl…or get bashed up, that’s about all that is happening at that hour.
• You can get Dr Pepper at vending machines.
• There is a vending machine for drinks or cigarettes every 2 meters…give or take 1.5meters. There are possibily more vending machines than people here, which is an enormous feat.
• You can buy umbrellas everywhere. You can park your umbrellas outside almost every shop, and if you can’t park it there will be some little bags you slide your wet umbrella into so it doesn’t drip all over the place. Despite the fact that everyone has an almost identical clear plastic umbrella with a white handle, everyone knows who’s is who. I imagine it’s like how those giant groups of penguins know who each other is, despite everyone looking the same, they just know. It’s like that with your umbrella. It has rained almost every day since I’ve arrived.
• Children here are seen and not heard. I’ve seen about sixty million children since I’ve arrived and not once have I seen any of them being anything less than perfectly reasonable and well behaved. People also, I’m yet to hear anyone shouting at someone else, hitting someone, being rude or in any way anti-social. Not that everyone is tripping over themselves to be kind and sweet, but there is definitely just a climate of something – kindness, indifferent maybe? But people just don’t waste their time or energy trying to be negative towards other people.

I could write forever about how fantastic everything is, and what an entirely and completely fabulous time I am having, but there is no time. I have come back to this entry after having gone out last night and writing myself off on bargain Long Island Iced Tea, so I need to throw myself in the shower and make myself human again so I can go play. It’s almost ten which means the shops will soon be open and who am I to stay away from them?? The 100yen shops won’t shop themseves and the photographs won’t take themselves, so it looks like it’s all me.

Stay cool, loves. I’ll update again when I am home because I’m not sure if I’ll have a spare moment before then – much less time to get my head to stop spinning and make sense of everything! Keep your photo guesses coming, I’ve found some awesome prizes and you’ll hate to miss out!!

Well, in just over 12 hours I’ll be hopping on a plane and taking myself to Tokyo. I honestly can’t say I’m nervous or anxious (or even excited, for that matter) because it all just feels like it’s going to work out the way I want it to. I’ll get to the airport, catch the airport limosine to my hotel, dump my shit and go explore for a little while. Tuesday I’ll go to Sunshine City and spend money and look at cool things, Wednesday I meet my hero for some shopping and hooping, Thursday I’ll have my first job interview, Friday I’ll get the job of my dream and go out drinking to celebrate, Saturday I’ll…do something and might go to a party that I won’t leave until the not so wee hours of Sunday morning, if I don’t go to the party I will go to my last job interview (just in case Friday school has to let me stew over the weekend until confirming they want me) and do some park hooping, Monday I will shop and sightsee – probably in Harajuku and then on Tuesday I’ll do my sample lesson at the Thursday school and then fly home that night. Obviously, it’s incredibly fucking awesome that I’m going to Japan and I get to go alone and all of that stuff, but it just feels like it’s all meant to happen this way.

I’m feeling incredibly good about the job I want to get, I’ve been speaking with one of Deanne’s friends who works there and he’s given me a couple of pointers in terms of the sort of teachers the school is looking for. Not to boast, but it’s so me. Everything I believe about teaching and want to do as a teacher is totally supported by the school’s philosophy. I want to work there so much it hurts and I don’t even know how much they pay. I have very little interest in working at a mainstream school and getting paid decently, I’d much prefer to work in a school that I love, for less money…though I’m lead to believe that the school offers their teachers a pretty sweet deal. Win, win!!

I’m almost all packed, just a few little bits and piece to add in. I’m even under my weight limit too, wooo! No doubt I’ll add a whole heap of weight on the way back though!!

I want to tell you all about my party, because it was so totally amazing but I don’t have time just now, so you’ll have to wait. There are approximately 376837 pictures up on Facebook at the moment, so I’ll snag some of them to put up here in a little bit. For now though, hold tight. I will tell you one thing, when I said goodbye to Jac she cried a bunch and it made my heart break. I’ve never made anyone cry before and it feels like shit, I told her not to be sad but she didn’t listen. Being the goer is almost as shitty as the person being left behind.

The Crappy Not-Magnet Photo Competition is officially on now! For those who guessed on the previous post, I’ll move your guesses over here but all new guesses should be on the comments here. You can guess more than once if you like, but be reasonable, if you guess 11 times I’ll hate you. For those who don’t know, you guess the number of pictures I’ll take while I am on holiday and then whomever guesses the correct or closest number wins a shitty prize. In this case, the strangest item I can procure from a 100 yen store. Additionally, just by guessing you can also win, I will draw a name at random from all the guessers and that person will also get a shitty prize. Two chances to win, my friends!! Just so you know, I’ll be gone for 8 nights and plan on sleeping as little as possible so I am absorb everything that is Tokyo, so you can use that to help your guesses if you like.

Old guesses:

Enny: 210

Lucy: 421

Deb: 395

DHG: 93

Alright dudes, I’m off! I expect to blog while I’m away (hotel has WiFi) so cross your fingers and you might get an update or two. Expect the “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I got the fucking job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” post in the near future. It’s all me.

Over and out.

I am currently knee deep in the iTunes store, picking some 80s power ballads that are missing from my comprehensive library of pumping 80s tunes. (Yes, I actually purchase all my music, I am not cool enough to know how to download it plus I would want someone to buy my songs if I got famous). I’ve got some really good ones “Ooooooooooh, we’re all someone’s daughter, we’re all someone’s sonnnnnnnnnnnnn” “We may never meet againnnnnn, sooooo shed your skin and let’s get starteddddddddd” (Bonus points! Name that tune!!)

Since reading Stuff Lesbians Like and it mentioning 80s power ballads, I’ve felt like this whole lady loving thing has made so much more sense. There are actually other girls out there who love power ballads, and that warms my heart. Most days I feel like a total n00b when it comes to the whole lesbian deal, but knowing I match some tongue-in-cheek stereotypes makes me glad…Pollyanna style.

Let’s see how many other lesbian stereotypes myself, my going away party and my guests can live up to:

1. Popped Collars and Grad School. Yes, I will be wearing a popped collar and I dare say I won’t be the only one. As for Grad School, I’m there next semester. Check.

2. Telling the stupid U-Haul joke. Likely, there will be a number of lesbians in the company of my straight friends. I heard the U-Haul joke the very first time I hung with Wifey so I suspect it’s the standard lesbian joke to tell other girls. I’m anticipating hearing it on the weekend. Check.

5. The post-mullet. I have a mullet, which I adore like it was my own child. Tex now has a mullet and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are another one or two in attendance on Saturday. CHECK!

7. Mourning dead or otherwise departed L-Word characters. Every time I see some of the girls who will be coming on Saturday, we talk about the L-Word, this is absolutely certain to occur at some point. Check.

10. The hand tuck. I know I do this often, and I know I’m not the only one! Check.

11. Entourages. Yah, I’ll have have almost my entire entourage with me on Saturday, some of whom will bring their own entourage. Plus, I’d like to go out afterwards and I’m far too “new” to go into any gay clubs alone, so I need other lesbians to give me some cred. Check.

15. Processing. Yeah, we all know I do this. If it was not for “processing” my blog would be updated once every 3 months. Double check.

17. Drama 2.0. Yeah….we all know this is true, too. Check.

20. Fitting In. Without a doubt, while it’s true for most people, it’s especially true within the “scene”. If you don’t read as a lady lover than you are toast, thank GOD I have awesome hair because if it wasn’t for that I would be dead in the water. My mullet helps tip off the girls who’ve already got an inkling which team I play for. This is another reason my entourage is useful because it would be very unlikely I’d be approached in a gay club if I was…out of context, let’s say. Check!

21. Professing to know everything about someone based on his or her star sign. Yeah, I think within the first 10 minutes of Tex and I meeting we were discussing star signs and doing the eyebrow raise and nod at each other. For the record, I’m a Scorpio, and you’d be very right to raise an eyebrow… check.

26. We blog! Yes, yes we do. Check.

28. Straight Girls. Half my party will be straight girls and I love them to bits! Lesbians do dig straight girls. Check.

31. Being overly competitive at things that don’t matter. I am this point personified! I have never cared about getting better marks than someone else at uni or beating anyone while at the doing stuff at the gym (way back in the day) but try and have better hair than me or play against me in Guitar Hero and it’s on like Donkey Kong, my friends. You’ll be crying like a sissy in under five minutes. Check.

36. Spontaneously breaking out into tone-deaf versions of 80s guitar anthems or power ballads. The point that started it all. I fucking love power ballads, they are the greatest songs ever and guitar anthems are the reason why Guitar Hero is the best game ever. Check.

49. Lesbian Texting Syndrome. Guilty as charged, as is every other lesbian I know. Check.

53. Dating difficult girls. Well, not dating so much as crushing on difficult girls? Though I know plenty of girls dating difficult girls, it seems to be a rite of passage. Check.

Ahhhhh, don’t you feel better knowing all that?? I kind of suspect that Saturday night will be the coolest night ever. It’s not like those times when I expect great things and everything turns to shit, this is going to work out! Short of the venue burning down in the next couple of nights, I’m going to have an awesome place for my party. There will be yummy food and cocktails (and beer and junk), as well as a bunch of super cool people. It sort of feels like the funnest birthday party ever, except I don’t have to get any older and I get to go to Japan two days after my party. So maybe it’s more like a wedding…for myself…but without wedding presents or wedding night sexing…but there will be cake, and hey, if the sexing is not an option, cake will do just fine.

So it’s down to five days and counting…

I’m feeling quite Zen about this whole experience (the Japanese theme, maybe??). I’m not nervous or scared or worried, it just all seems like it’s meant to be happening so it feels pointless to worry, I just have absolute faith it’s all going to turn out how it is supposed to.

I know, it doesn’t feel like me unless I am holding my knees rocking and frothing at the mouth at this point close to a big event, but not working myself into a blind panic has made for a nice change of pace. I’m not sleeping well at night, but that’s because I am far too excited to do anything like sleep. I could be trawling Flickr for pictures of Tokyo, or looking on Google Street View or otherwise planning my adventures in Japan.

I still have an incredible amount to do before I go. Namely, my portfolio. It’s getting there, I have a very good grasp on the content but then I have to put it all into some aesthetically pleasingly format so I can simultaneously wow my interviewers with the contents of it and show off my artistic flair. I’ve got to get some photos printed for it as well. I also need to sort out a cash passport, I ran out of time last week and I’ve been working these past couple of days so tomorrow will be my first chance to get to the bank. Tomorrow I also have to press some buttons I’ve sold and post them off, print off some old assignments for my boss, print off some other stuff for D’Olds who are going away while I’ll be in Japan and print off maps and junk for myself so I can actually find my way to the hotel in Tokyo.

Lastly, just to see who even reads this anymore for old times sake, I’m going to hold a Crappy Magnet Photo Competition when I go away! Except it won’t be a magnet this time, it will be the single most obscure item I can procure in a 100yen store. This time, there will also be two chances to win – one prize for guessing/guessing closest to the actual number of photographs I take on my trip and the second one I will draw randomly by picking a name from the commenters on the official competition post. So even if you are a shitty guesser, you could still win!! I’ll outline the proper rules and all that junk for the kids who haven’t played before in a post soon, but start warming up your guessing muscles. Two points to note while doing your guessing – 1) I just got a brand new camera 2) It’s fucking TOKYO.

Well, this was really just a giant, steaming pile of nothing. Apologies for wasting your time, please go about your business. I’ll try harder tomorrow. My life for the past few days has been go to work, come home, think about all the things I have to do, sleep, rinse and repeat. Tomorrow will be more exciting, and if it isn’t I will try my hardest to write about it in a way that makes it seem exciting!

Compiling this portfolio is like doing the most tedious assignment ever! I know I have to do it, I totally understand why I have to do it and I even want to have a portfolio, but it doesn’t make it any easier to do.

It also doesn’t help that there are no hard and fast rules as to what you put in it or how you lay it out and after many years of following strict criteria when completing tasks this sort of freedom is incredibly daunting. I’ve decided to go for a portrait layout, A4 style with lots of paper accents and photographs and things. It’s not as traditional as some people may make their portfolio but I’m not big on the ‘traditional’ thing anyways, so I figure why start now?

I found the teaching philosophy I had to write as part of an assignment a year or so ago. It’s actually pretty kick ass and I think it will impress people. It’s about the only piece of text I wrote in my entire uni career that I actually believe in, everything I feel about teaching is in it and I can even prove it with examples from my pracs and things so it makes it even more legitamate. Better still My Dream School (MDS) has a philosophy that aligns very well with my teaching philosophy, so hopefully we’ll be a match made in heaven. I was looking at MDS’s website earlier today, it’s mad! They have a indoor rock climbing wall, a proper running track and the coolest looking entrance I’ve ever seen. It looks like a super welcoming place, the videos of the staff make them seem quite warm and genuine and there are parent testimonials to support this. I also had a look at the fee structure…let’s just say you’d want to be earning the phat cash and have only one child if you wanted them to attend. On the plus side though, they will probably pay quite well, seeing as the registration fee for enrolling one child for just one term is more than most other schools are offering teachers per month.

I should stop whining and get it done so I can share it with some of my teacher-folk friends later in the week, allowing me a little time for final tweaking. Tomorrow when I wake up to go to work, it will be the same time I’ll have to be at the airport the following Monday for my flight!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp!!!!!

Let me start by setting the scene:

D’Mummy has a group of friends whom she met while we were at primary school, they were other Mums who had kids around the same age as D’Brother and I so she just got to know them through school, as you do, and has remained friends with these ladies. One of these ladies does “readings” for people, she’s quite popular and has people who come from interstate and overseas to get read by her, but she doesn’t ever talk about it. The only time I’d ever heard of it was when D’Mummy said something a while after D’Daddy had come out of hospital years ago.

At this stage D’Daddy was in a very bad way and there was conversations going on in regard to quality of life and all sorts of very serious mortality issues, the friend of D’Mummy’s called her and felt compelled to tell her that he would be ok and recover completely and not to worry because it would work out. It’s worth mentioning that at this stage most of the people around our family were having the “It’s ok to let him go” “You have to think about the quality of life he’d be leading if we pursue this” type conversations, so it was more than a friend’s reassurance. Sure enough, ten years down the track, D’Daddy is not that much worse for wear from the experience and continues to be a fully capable, independant and functioning adult person.

So, today I went out with D’Mummy and some of her friends including this lady. D’Mummy had mentioned that I was going to Japan for some interviews and this friend said “Oh yeah, great, she’ll get a job!”, D’Mummy did the usual “Yes, well, she really wants one, so hopefully it will work out” and her friend was insistant that I will get a job. We were having lunch and after much questioning from D’Mummy and friend the other lady started to talk about how the receives the information that she’s given and that how she can sense the (passed on) people who surround other people she reads for and they are able to pass on specific information. After this I metioned something about Japan and that I have three interviews and that I really want a job and that I’ve worked out my plan B in case this doesn’t work out, the lady said “I hate to say this because I don’t like to read people I know, but you are going to get a job, the middle school is the one that you’ll get”. Which one is the middle interview of all the schools?? Only the one I want more than life itself and have a feeling that I might get.

You have no idea how glad it makes me to hear that. I’m not going to take it as gospel and cancel my return ticket and start applying for apartments in Tokyo or anything but it does help to reconfirm the feeling I’ve had for a while now. It just seems like it’s meant to be.

If how much I want it has any effect on how likely it is I’ll get the job, they might as well call me tonight and sign me up because there is nothing I’ve ever wanted more. You’ll hear my screams of delight from all corners of the globe when I get word that the job is mine! Wait and see

And, as promised, here’s me looking like a big, giant loser in my graduation get up.

I’ve gotta do the whole graduating thang later today. I’m not particularly looking forward to it, it will be long and boring except for the 4.5 minutes that it will take me and the three or so other people I will know there cross the stage. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? Jac will be there as well as D’Olds, D’Brother and gf and D’Nanny, Wifey is also coming and SusieQ is coming to dinner afterwards so I am feeling rather loved at the moment.

I went shopping this morning for something to wear. The plan was to buy something warm for tonight because it’s fucking freezing in Brisbane at the moment…but I came home with this oversized, slouchy silk top. I think it might be warmer to wrap myself in fly screen but it looks awesome and I just love it. Plus, it was on sale (of course!) and was only $50, score! If I look pained in any of the grad pics I put up, it’s because my blood has crystallized. I also got another top (also on sale, $20) and a dress. It’s a floaty, cotton dress which is absolutely shitty for the weather at the moment but totally fantastic for Tokyo, and that was only $35 (sale, too). All in all, I love Myer and I love not paying full price.

I’ve been chatting to my hero quite a bit lately, busily planning and preparing for the big “D’Jen Does Tokyo” trip. I was saying today that I just have a feeling that one school in particular (specifically the best international school in Tokyo) will want me. It doesn’t make sense but I just feel like they will want me. Deanne said she has the same feeling, I am hoping quite desperately it must mean it’s true. If you would all cross your fingers and toes very tightly until the Friday after next, I’d be most appreciative.

I should probably go and tart myself up now, graduates have to be at the ceremony two hours early to rehearse and get robed up and junk. I like the fact that everyone in attendance today will be awarded, at the very least, with a bachelor degree but yet we are still apparently not smart enough to figure out how to line up and walk across the stage when our name is called, and therefore must practice before our guests arrive. Hmmm, I smell irony?

Back later this weekend with pictures of me and my wanky mortarboard. Woo!

Let me tell you all the things I have to do at the moment (and planned to get through some of them yesterday, taking advantage of the lovely public holiday) and then I’ll tell you how much I’ve actually done, and how I spent my public holiday.

To Do:

• Hassle STA about my tickets and International Student Card. I’ve been assured twice that it will take 3 days to get the card (after I went back once and they realized they hadn’t sent the application and sent it off) and tomorrow will be 3 weeks and no card. I am getting shitty now.
• Construct my teaching portfolio
• Start packing
• Order food for my party next weekend
• Make dinner reservations for tomorrow
• Dye my hair
• Organize one of those OS pre-paid Visa card things
• Buy a new purse

What I did yesterday:

• Counted a big container of change I had in my office – $73 of free money! Wooo!
• Bought a hair dye
• Went to Tex’s and got drunnnnnnk with her and her gf, Susie Q and Jac. We also had a campfire and hooped. It was fantastic.

As I was hooping last night, in the dark and in the rainforest that is Tex’s back yard, everything suddenly made sense. It sounds so wanky and I don’t blame you for wanting to glass me for talking about it. I was hooping it up and was watching the ground (to make sure I didn’t trip over any of the gnarled tree roots or rocks and shit that were all over the place) and everything inside the hoop was looking normal and everything outside of it was blurry and spinning around. It was just like proof that as long as you’ve got your own shit sorted then it doesn’t even matter if everything else is spinning around crazily around you, just so long as you who how you are and what you are doing.

I had a crazy amount to drink at this point, I wasn’t pouring my own drinks so I have no idea how much alcohol was in them, but I do remember tipping over while I was hooping and ending up on all fours with my head resting on the ground (which was dirt, dead leaves, rocks and tree roots) because everything was spinning too much to do anything else. It wasn’t even a fall, it was kind of like a slow mo’ journey to the ground. It felt quite fluid and artistic as I was doing it, but to the untrained eye I’m sure it looked more like a trashed chick dropping on all fours and headbutting the ground. I’m classy like that.

The campfire was awesome! I love fire, and last night was fucking cold so it was nice for the warmth factor as well….let’s just overlook the small matter of the legality of having a backyard fire. Tex and her gf live quite close to the CBD but their house is in one of the most hilly, overgrown areas of Brisbane, it was the perfect place to get all sorts of dried leaves and sticks and stuff to make the fire. Tex’s gf is the master fire starter, she did such a good job! I could never make a fire like this one!

I think by clearing the air with Tex it has made things better. I had an awesome time last night and there was no mixed messages or anything like that, it was just easy and fun. Yay for shitty things making stuff better in the long run.

Right now I am going to go out and try and get some of this stuff done. I’m aiming to sort out the ticket/IS card, new purse and pre-paid Visa today. I’ll report back later – if not for any other reason than to shame myself for not doing the stuff that I want to get done today.

** EDIT: Ok, let’s review what I’ve done so far:

• Packed some – not all obvs but the stuff I could pack at this stage
• Bought a new purse – only $35, thank you Myer Gods
• Sorted out my flight junk and finally got my IS card
• Booked tomorrow night’s dinner plans
• Dyed my hair (not technically yet, but I’m going to do it tonight)

Not a bad effort, I say. I also managed to squeeze in a bit of a lie down on the couch as well as Hungries for lunch, pre-lie down, to get my tummy to settle down. I still feel quite fragile. Don’t get old kids, it sucks, I used to be able to write myself off and wake up bright and early the next morning with a spring in my step and a sparkle in my eye and now it’s more like watching an angry, deranged yeti crawl out of a dark cave…and I remain that way for most of the day. Not pretty.

Yeeeughhh. I am going to make bean burritos for dinner…yes, I know it’s only 5pm, don’t judge me!!

It’s a little unfair that things have to turn a bit shit when they’ve gone so well for so long. I like to be happy and blissfully unaware, it’s so much nicer than feeling stupid and sad.

Nothing major has gone wrong, so I probably shouldn’t even be complaining but right now I sort of want to crawl into bed and have a bit of a cry because I am feeling lame, but instead I am going to blog (…then go to bed and cry.)

Tex asked me, in not so many words, whether I was into her or not. Rather than deny it like I normally would I told her that I think she is super cool but out of respect for the girlfriend I am doing everything possible not to entertain those thoughts. She thanked me for being respectful and assured me she isn’t that great…and that’s it. SHIT. This is becoming the story of my life. I really hate feeling so lame, it’s so pathetic to crush on people! I’m not in Grade Seven anymore, people my age have functional relationships they don’t like people who aren’t interested in them. I feel so stupid!

I was chatting to Wifey the other night. I haven’t spoken to her in ages so I was just giving her a bit of an update about stuff that is going on. I was talking about Tokyo and how I will (hopefully) not be in Australia much longer and she was all “Yah, but you know you may not get a job, you don’t even know for sure that you’ll be going anywhere”. Maybe I’m living with rose colored glasses on, but everyone has just been so sweet to me about Japan. Everyone is being so positive and kind and even I truly believed that I would get one of the jobs I’m being interviewed for, but now she has planted that seed of doubt. I know that no one can make you do or believe anything without your permission but I think it’s kind of mean to say something like that. I am brilliant at telling myself how useless I am, I don’t need other people to do it for me.

As a bit of a knee jerk reaction to what Wifey said I applied for another school last night. It’s not as prestigious as the other two and I’m a little doubtful that they will be willing to pay what I am looking for, but I’ve got an interview with them nonetheless. I really want this, I want it so, so badly that I can barely breathe and I’m just not prepared to admit defeat on this one but now I’m wondering if I even have a chance at these jobs or if I am just trying to convince myself that I’m employable when I’m really not.

I don’t even want to think about being single and not having any schools wanting me to teach for them. That is more depressing than I can even consider, I think I am giving up on ladies because I just can’t do it anymore, I’ll just concentrate on finding a job and moving countries. That will take up enough of my time to keep myself sufficiently busy and not think about the train wreck that is my “love life” at the moment.

Sorry for being pathetic, I will be better tomorrow.

• I bought a new camera yesterday. As part of my grand plan not to “bust a nut” (as D’Brother often eloquently explains) with all the cool stuff to buy in Tokyo, I am going to take lots of photos. Because there is every chance I will be moving back there in the near future, I just don’t need to be buying cute stuffed toys or sweet drinking glasses and stuff like that so I figure if I can take a picture then I can still gush over the cuteness but without having to find room for it in my suitcase. That or I will have a flashy new camera to trade with the check in person to cover the charge for my ten tonnes of excess baggage. Either way, I’m sorted.

• I was chatting with Best about wedding stuff today. It’s not far from crunch time and Best is quickly being a giant, stressful, weeping pile of bridal goo. She admitted to crying watching a QANTAS ad because it was so cute and wanting to go and glass The Ex and some fo his friends who have no RSVP’d to the wedding. Sorry, be lazy and useless all you like, but RSVP for the fucking wedding. It’s a non-negotiable RSVP, like with a birthday party and stuff it’s nice to let them know if you are going or not, but for a wedding you definitely let someone know. Best even included a wee card so all you had to do was write your name and partner’s name, tick the “I’ll be there, bros!*” box and put it in the pre addressed envelope, chuck on a stamp and stick it in a post box. I realize there are quite a few steps which may confuse the tiny minds of certain people but it’s not a difficult thing to do. It makes me very angry, on Best’s behalf. *May not be the exact wording of the invitations.

• Speaking of the wedding, I was telling Best that everyone thinks it sounds like the best wedding ever and that so many people want to come with me. Best told me I could bring someone which I hadn’t really considered until this point. I’d like to bring someone, it would be fun to have a “date”. It will be such an awesome night with excellent food and cocktails and getting to stay at a swishy resort and also getting to dress up and be fancy. It would be even more awesome to have someone I could dance with and steal a few sneaky kisses from, as well as spooning in a hotel bed. The bonus part is that me taking a girl to the wedding would be an enormous scandal and would blow the tiny, narrow minds of some guests. Win, win, as far as I can see I’m currently accepting applications for a wedding date, you need to be into the ladies (bonus points if you are into me) and willing to spoon.

• I have a killer headache, it feels like my brain is trying to thump out the back of my skull. Jac and I hit up the candy store at Southbank this afternoon, I got lots of old school lollies like Ka-Blueys and those long straws filled with flavoured sugar so I’m pretty sure my headache is just a symptom of my comedown off all the sugar. Even as a grown up I still can’t help but getting all the end gunked up with spitty sugar bits thus trapping half the remaining sugar in the straw, it’s annoying. I also shredded my tongue on the Ka-Bluey, I could taste something metallic and thought it might just be some crazy after taste I didn’t remember from when I last had one as a kid, but no, I’d just cut my tongue on the sharp bits of the lollipop sorta shell. It stings, beware of Ka-Blueys.

• This week marks the start of the sharp decent into J-Town. This week neatly contains Best’s birthday, a public holiday, my graduation and, with any luck, drinking at the uni bar on Thursday night. The following week I’ve got a couple of days of work but will spend most of my time packing and otherwise madly preparing to go overseas before my going away party on the Saturday night (BE THERE). It’s so exciting I can barely stand it.