Making things difficult

So uni started today. I realised today I’d cocked up my enrolment (for the second time) so I spent the morning sorting that out. I should probably be feeling far more consienscious than I currently am, but I’m not. You know, what can you do, right? Anyways, I’ve got a year to get my shit together.

What I did do today was buy some folders and shit for uni and some running shoes. I decided that the only thing that could make 34 degree days better is to run… outside. So, that’s my plan, I am gonna run in our backyard in the mornings. I’ve also eaten a bunch of veggies and cottage cheese and other “real” foods and I feel far more nourished than I have in months. I know I won’t run heaps, I’ll be surprised if I last 10 minutes without dying of heat stroke or feeling like my heart is going to explode out of my chest but you’ve gotta start someplace, right?

I am also over my knee jerk reaction to move back OS right away. When I moved back home from living in my dirty share house it took me months to resist the urge to pour over share house ads to find someplace else. I don’t dislike living at home, but I just much prefer being left to my own devices. So now, while it would be heaps funner to head back OS it’s very likely that I’d find myself working another shitty job and not making sweet money so I just need to suck it up. Living at home is free, I have a big house that is empty when D’Olds are at work and Brisbane isn’t so bad, I guess. I am gonna work 2 or 3 days a week and spend the rest of my time on uni and doing shit I like, like sewing and learning to play uke (fo realz this time) and also trying roller derby. Yes, I am 26 this year and should probably stop pissing around and do something worthwhile but I figure there is worse things, I’m not a junkie, I don’t have 14 children, I’ve never been to jail so I guess in the scheme of things, if I’m 26 and living with my olds but have a postgraduate qualification and have lived OS then I’m still a worthwhile person.

And there we have it,  the crux of the issue – what I do is tied to my self worth. I suppose a Masters is a bit impressive but it kind of feels like I’m doing it simply for pleasure and therefore it doesn’t count so I need to do something else incredibly worthwhile with my time. Clearly, this year I am also going to attempt to improve my self worth, because it’s back to being quite shit at the moment.

Yay, how do you like that? I take you on a magical journey of words and leave you in a pity party. Sorry pets! Stories about my first attempts at running tomorrow, that’s sure to be a treat!