First Day

In the spirit of diving into the deep end, I started work today. I accepted the job on Tuesday, had two days to get my shit together and then started today. I am teaching pre-prep, there was a previous teacher but there was some serious family illness so she resigned a couple of weeks ago and they’ve had a relief teacher since then. As far as I can tell, things have been kind of patchy since the start of the year. The kids are totally lacking in terms of a portfolio containing observations, work samples of anything that might provide some evidence that they’ve even been coming, let alone that they’ve actually learned something.

So, some points?

• I have a set of identical twin boys. I have previously worked with a set of identical twin boys, however my boys don’t have their own language so this makes things a little easier. Identical twin boys are proof the Universe has a sense of humor, creating two little people who look exactly alike (and having their parents dress them identically) who are also the children whose names you most need to be able to shout across a room to stop them doing something gross/dangerous/silly is just proof that someone, somewhere is having a good laugh. These boys can be told apart by a single freckle…that is covered by their hair 85% of the time.

• My room contains lots of random furniture. Previous teachers have come, brought in some bits and pieces and then left, meaning my room is a bit of a tip. My aim for next week is to just get all the excess crap out and use the space better than it is currently being used. I moved some stuff around today, it’s better already.

• When I was outside this afternoon I was playing with a couple of the kindy boys while they were climbing on the obstacle course. They were sliding down some wooden planks and one of them purposefully tumbled off and the other one got knocked and fell off (not a big fall) but in the process face planted into my calf and subsequently snotted all over the leg of my pants. Tasty. It was my first reminder of just how lovely working with children can be. His nose had a little bleed (I’d guess more from getting rid of all the crusty nose business he’d been sporting all day than the fall) and he was fine but later on he was pushing a barrow around and got smashed into by one of the other kids riding a tiny bike and properly face planted into the astro turf giving himself a proper bloody nose and a fat lip. Poor little sausage. He has a little cry then went on his merry way however he was recaptured often as his nose hadn’t quite stopped bleeding and a three year old running full speed around a playground is not the best way to soothe a sore nose.

• I have a lot of non-sleepers. I am going to bring in bed baggies. I’ve seen these work marvelously because useless you sleep or do the next best thing, you don’t get to play with a little bag of toys on your bed for the last 15 minutes of rest time. Not having a bag of toys when other people have them is about the worst thing that can happen to a four year old, so it becomes quite a powerful motivator to toe the line and actually just rest quietly for a while rather than do everything in your power to be distracting.

• Teachers do not have to open or close the centre, the assistants are the ones who do all the opening and closing stuff. The children are fed at school and my (boy) assistant sets up all the meals, serves them, tidies up and takes away the food trolley. It’s all kinds of fabulous, not that I mind doing that stuff, but yay for not having to!

• I’ve decided to buy a mini laptop for school. There is no way on God’s green earth that my Mac will come within striking distance of my classroom or a five year old, so I want a cheapie laptop to do school junk on and if it cops a water bottle spill or a hefty knock then I won’t have to end my life. Because it will be used for school stuff I can also class it as a tax decduction.

• I am really tired now, it wasn’t a very big day really but spending a whole day being productive and not sitting on the couch listening to my ass widen has taken it out of me. I’m seriously considering Lite n Easy or something to that effect – 90% so I never need to make myself lunch and 10% because I am developing too much muffin around my top. I fucking hate cooking, like I hate it with the firiest of passions, I hate most everything about meal preparation and I loathe lunch. The idea of going to someone who will give me a whole bunch of pre-packed food, or having that shit delivered makes my heart sing. I don’t even care what I eat, just so long as I played no part in its preparation so I don’t even care if the food is shitty, any food is good food and if it helps my hips become less childbearing and more snakelike, all the bettter. Plus, I can totally afford shit like that now, so, why not?

Tomorrow, Miss Jones and I have a big night of face masks and drinking planned. Sitting around at hers in our PJs doing all sorts of ugly beauty stuff (hair masques, manicures, etc), drinking and watching The L Word. I think it’s safe to say that we’ve reached that place where it’s ok to be “ugly” in front of the other. She’s seen the architectural wonder of my morning hair, witnessed my fat pants and we have started introducing more kissing before the daily morning rush to the bathroom to de-fuzz the teeth before even so much as making eye contact with the other party. I am so pumped for a big evening of nothing it is exactly what I feel like doing and Miss Jones has had a massive day today so I suspect she is also ready for a quiet one. Double yay.