Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

I am shit with money.

It’s not a good thing to admit to, people are generally only willing to be “okay” with money or “savvy” but I am not. If I have money, I tend to spend it hand over fist until I have none. All the time I was unemployed since I’ve been home I never once felt like I had no money (despite actually having none) and now that I get paid it has become a perpetual concern of mine. This pay was pissed away – I bought new clothes, shoes, accessories. I went out, caught cabs, bought drinks and tickets to various events. I think I’ve spent about $350 on things that required it (a couple of pairs of pants and my CC bill) and the rest was purely spending money because I could.

This pay is going to be done differently. I want to pay off my CC/repay the Olds, I want to buy a new button press, I want to buy a color laser printer, I want to save money for my future tattoos. I do not: need to buy more shoes or more accessories, need to drink cocktails at every opportunity simply because I can afford to, keep buying resources for school, buy stuff I like just because I can afford to, do *anything* simply because I can afford to. It’s alright, better to have worked it out now than in six months time when I have a whole bunch of stuff once aain, and nothing else to show for working full time.

This weekend Miss Jones and I had an impromptu night out at The Beat on Friday night. I drove in and spend about $25 on drinks for both of us and had an awesome time. Sunday we went to the Lifeline Bookfest and while I did spend about $50 on books, we both browsed for hours and came home with armfuls of books which will provide hours of enjoyment. Both examples of super fun times that had almost nothing to do with how much money I had or was spending, but was simply due to the company I had and that I was doing things I liked.

Last week was shitty, it was super stressful and I just felt really time poor and frazzled. This week is better, a four day week never hurts and I am back to doing good shifts where I get to see lots of my kids and don’t have to panic about closing the centre. I’ve also been inspired to start crafting again (hence the renewed wanting for a new button press) some “lifestyle” markets have started at my old uni which is a three minute drive from Miss Jones’s place, the place I spend my entire weekend. Not doing a market stall now is almost insane as it requires almost no effort on my part seeing as I am in the area every weekend and the only difference would be that I’d be sitting around at a stall possibly making money rather than sitting around on the couch or out spending money. I know, I have said it a thousand times before so feel free to disregard it, but one day I’ll do it!

P.S. I spent three nights with Miss Jones this weekend, it seems more and more like I live with her and that I merely come home to my own house after work sometimes and late on weekend to do some washing. At least half my shit lives at her place now. I feel almost antsy now at the thought of not seeing her until Wednesday or Thursday, it just feels normal to wake up next to her. I literally cannot comprehend the idea of her going OS for a while and having no physical contact with her and the slim possibility that she may not return is a fate worse than death, in typical Jen fashion I think I will just cease to recognize that possbility – if you don’t acknowledge it, it can’t happen.