The fast train to Vom City…
18 Jun
Firstly, before I go ahead and be all disgusting, let me give the biggest congrats to my lovely Miss Jones who has gone ahead and scored herself a secondment working in London’s WEST END on Dirty Dancing in August. It’s seriously big business and West End is something a lot of people in her professional only dream about for their careers and she’s managed to get her foot in the door. I have no doubt she’ll blow them away and will be in hot demand when she is officially graduated. Big claps all round please! xxxx
So, now onto the juicy bits….literally.
I woke up this morning with a seriously sore tummy, I thought it might just be a tummy ache so I didn’t really care too much about it. I felt like chucking so I drank water and went outside and waited in the car for a few minutes until Miss Jones was ready and then the motion of the car and cool air seemed to make it a bit better. I dropped Miss Jones off and her film shoot and then started driving home to get ready for work and I coughed. After I coughed I got the icky taste in my mouth that I always get before I vom, and then it was on….
For reasons I cannot understand, I covered my mouth thinking that might actually stop it but instead it just forced the vom out all around my hand so it was literally from my eyes down to my knees. Once I started I couldn’t stop and managed to go another four more times. I was driving on a major road during peak hour so there was no chance to stop or pull over, so I just have to chuck all over myself and keep going.
If you’ve never driven home with your thighs pressed together to stop the vom juices from your lap from leaking on your apolstery, you’ve never lived. I stripped off as soon as I got in the door and jumped in the shower to make myself human again. This daring act set me off again and I spent some time expelling the very last little bit of my stomach contents and then worked on displacing my liver.
After that I called work and told them but was told I have to come in because they can’t replace me, so too bad. Right now I am waiting for my docotor appointment so I can see if there is anything I can take for it, but I almost suspect there won’t be seeing as I managed to throw up the water I drank this morning. I couldn’t want to go to work less, I am so tired and completely lacking in any sort of energy but what can I do? I am sure I caught a bug from the kids seeing as a few of them have been away with a similar condition so I’m either going to go and infect them all or get get a second helping. Awesome.
I am sipping some water and I can feel the third round bubbling up inside. I’ve already managed to chuck on myself in the car and in the shower so no doubt I’ll go for the trifecta of embarrassing voms and go for the Doctors waiting room floor or something classy like that.
Anyways, that’s my big story. I never, ever vom so it’s always a special occasion when I do so I wanted to share the story….bet you’re glad you clicked my link today??
you poor chicken…
but if you have to vomit.. you’ve got to make a good effort!
hope you’re feeling better soon.
ANd yay, Dirty Dancing was ace! she’ll have the time of her life, you’ll just have to come visit this side of the world!
Ha! There was totally a Dirty Dancing pun in Ali’s comment.
Awesome.
I’m sorry you’re sick chicken, you have to admit though, that’s a pretty awesome vom story though. Plus skillful, driving in peak AND vomiting AND not crashing is mad skillz.
Ali is right — you will have to visit London if Miss Jones is working on Dirty Dancing. It’s the law.
And I’m at once both totally impressed at your dedication to work that you would agree to go in even though you are sick, and completely horrified that they would demand you come in when sick and risk infecting all the staff and children!
Ali, I totally agree. No one wants a “I was feeling a bit off, so I had a vom and now I’m sorted” story, if you’re gonna do something, do it properly I say
Lucy, I noticed that too… and then started singing the song in my head. I am a bit impressed by my mad vom/driving skills. The only casualty was my steering wheel cover. I even had the presence of mind to drape a spare work jumper over myself so other motorists would not be offended by the fact I was covered in vom.
Jay, LOLZ, a visit to London would mean I was cashed up, and I am not. Well, I kind of am, but I also have a load of debt that I should probs take care of rather than adding to it with an international trip…not to mention that I’m already off to NZ in Sept as it is. She’ll just have to go it alone