Bad News Week

This week has to be better, last week has to have used up all my bad luck so I should be back to being alright again, right?

Last week:

• Miss Jones and I had a bit of a argument-y thing and also started to talk about the possible break up stuff when she goes OS.

• D’Nanny ended up in hospital with heart problems (that still isn’t sorted).

• I found out a parent thinks I am “unapproachable” and another parent complained about the G-rated Jimmy Neutron DVD I bought in for the kids to watch.

It doesn’t sound like much, but essentially every aspect of my life, aside from my friends was just burried in shitiness last week.

The stuff with Miss Jones just sucks, I just hate that a really awesome relationship might have to end for no reason other than distance. I always knew that she was going away and I chose to actively ignore it but now that we’ve only really got 3 or 4 weeks left together (after you take out all the other bits and pieces she’s doing before she goes away) it’s just shit. Another international move is not on my cards this year, and this is something that Miss Jones wants (and needs) to do alone so I won’t be going too. It might turn out that she is gone for a month and then comes back but she is leaving with the view to be gone for a while so I am not really going to get my hopes up. The long distance thing isn’t really an option either because Miss Jones isn’t into it. Consequently, I’m thinking of pissing off for Term Four – out to someplace far, far away from everyone and everything to teach for a bit. Being in Brisbane now without Jac is shitty enough, but without Jac and Miss Jones? I don’t want a part of that.I want her to go and have a great time and experience everything and all of that, but I don’t want her to go, I just want to do happily ever after with her. Is that so much to ask?

I remember years ago when I went on holiday with A and Little A and we were sitting around playing that “Would you rather…?” game and I got asked “Would you rather meet the love of your life and know that you’d only ever have 6 months with them or have a lifetime of happy relationships but never meet the one?” I said I’d rather not have someone knowing there would be a definate end date because that would be heartbreaking, particularly if it wasn’t a normal break up – if it was just a case of no longer being able to be together. Turns out, it is just as shit as I imagined but I am also selfish, I would never, ever wish that I’d never met Miss Jones but I just don’t want it to end. I want to have my cake and eat it too.

D’Nanny isn’t critical or anything, but it’s still not great. Her heart isn’t beating the way it should and for a younger person it isn’t a massive concern but for someone who is 86, it’s not ideal. They’ve done a couple of things to try and get it to be normal again but as yet nothing is working. The final resort is to basically reset one’s heart, by stopping it and then starting it again but obviously it’s not a great idea to be stopping the heart of an old lady for any reason, so I don’t know what will happen.

Work. I am just severley underwhelmed with everything. One of my favourite people there has gone to work in another centre, there is a shit fight going on between some of the other staff and the owners, they’ve put the fees up so parents are getting angsty and it’s just reasonably unpleasant there at the moment. I am simply doing my job and trying to stay out of the drama. It’s becoming increasingly tempting to go back to relief work because the money is better, you get to stay out of all the drama and bitching and there is more work out there than you could jump over so staying full time would not be a concern at all. I don’t know and I suspect I don’t even really care anymore.

Come on, this week, please be better!!