- Ugggh, there are no words for how I feel about the impending Monday. This weekend was far too short, I didn’t get my usual two nights with Miss Jones so it feels like the weekend has been only one day long, which is balls. Miss Jones and I worked out yesterday that we’ve only got two or three weekends left together before she goes. I am doing early shifts at work which will mean no weekday sleepovers so we really don’t have a long time left together. I am becoming slightly less resentful of it all, and I’m starting to feel more like just going to bed and not coming out again. Neither option is really ideal but I suppose a period of wallowing is inevitable, I just hope I can pull myself out of the funk before it gets unhealthy.
- I found out today I’ve been underpaid since I started working. Just another reason to dislike my job. I love the kids, I really like most of the people I work with but it’s just mind numbing. One day last week I spent almost my entire day pulling everthing out of our little kitchen cupboards looking for a mouse because my assistant refused to go in there. It’s hard to feel like you are doing something worthwhile when you can spend a whole day on your hands and knees cleaning up mouse poo and have it make very little difference to the scheme of things.
- I’m starting to realise than leaving Brisbane right now won’t really fix anything and will most likely just compound any dramas of the moment, so I’ll just sit it out until the end of the year at least. If I change nothing, I am going to end up resentful of everthing so I’ve been browsing job ads. I think I need to get out of education for the moment, I removed myself from that headspace while I was studying and since I quit that and went back into it, it’s pretty clear that it is not my heart’s desire. Of all the jobs I’ve had, I liked the insurance stuff most – I loved the little bit of investigation and fact checking I got to do, as well as working with lots of different departments and actually getting to see the results of the work I was doing. I’ve been looking at a few jobs with the Police, I’ve been thinking about it for a while but obviously I am far too soft to do any actual police work but I found a few administration type positions that have a degree of information collection and problem solving required but also do not present the immediate risk of being shot in the face, so win win, as far as I can tell. I’m going to apply, if nothing else it will give a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel to have something in the pipeline at the moment, so it’s all good. Plus, I get paid more and presumably will deal with less wet undies, runny noses and messy art to clean up so the bonuses are almost limitless.
- I have decided to get Sims 3 when Miss Jones leaves. Playing Sims requires a massive amount of time and seeing as I will have a huge, gaping hole in my social life when she goes I can just plug it up with some virtual happy families. I am sure that’s a perfectly healthy response to it all, right?? I may also actually have a go at roller derby, take uke lessons and go to bootcamp. I have been single for many, many years before and have no desire to become involved again any time soon, so I just have to re-learn how to spend my free time.
- I patted a stranger’s cat today. Miss Jones and I returned some DVDs and on the way back to the car she pointed out a cat sitting on a big cement fence outside some apartments. He (I believe it was a boy) was a very pretty Siamese-y thing who was dark coffee colored with dark chocolate points, I said hello and he said hello back and then I started to pat his head. He was really friendly and was rubbing all over me, licking my fingers and doing the friendly biting thing. He was owned, he was wearing a flea collar but I think he was just enjoying some Sunday morning sun outside.
- Jac will be here on Friday. It couldn’t be better timing really, I desperately need someone else to cling to. I dearly wish she was still here in Brisbane but one day is better than nothing. Jac will make everything better, she’s my career/relationship advisor and life coach. Yay for Jac!!!
I’m sorry education/child care isn’t as fulfilling as you’d been hoping for. Unfortunately, most of us do jobs where we don’t make the slightest bit of difference to someone’s life, just space monkeys pushing buttons and pulling levers. But! If you can find a job that stimulates you, with problem solving and fact checking and stuff, more power to you. It gives you something to aim for.
As for the Sims, do you really play happy families with it? Sometimes I’d just mess with people — I’d make the Goth family be all normal, and scare other families with ghosts. yeah, it really does swallow your life.
Comment by Jay — July 6, 2009 @ 5:19 pm |