Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

Give me a moment while I herald the praises of Joycelle.  Seriously, this woman is ah-may-zing!!!

I’ve been to a “psychic” before, and it was absolute shit. She told me exactly what I told her, just in different words. I so wanted to believe in all the metaphysical stuff but I had no real reason to, especially after that experience. It was half an hour and $50 that I’ll never get back. Gala Darling mentioned Joycelle on her site earlier in the week, I found a really good astrology site from her a while ago so I decided to check out this Joycelle lady she mentioned. I figured I had nothing to lose and dropped a quick email. I’d say that email might be the best one I’ve sent this year. For an incredibly reasonable price, I emailed Joycelle with a couple of questions I had and I can’t resist showing you what I got in return.

This is what I gave her to work with:

I’ve currently laid all my cards on the table and have started a business. I love what I am doing dearly and want it to work so badly. What do you see? Is it all going to work out in the end or did I make an epic error of judgment on this one?

My beautiful partner moved to London a month or so ago, and I don’t know when she’ll be back. We ended simply because she was leaving, not because of any other issues so I feel like we aren’t finished yet. Any thoughts about this? I’m not going to sit around and wait for her to come back one day, but I just feel like this isn’t the end for us.

That is all, I also told her my name and date of birth. No blog address, no Twitter, no other little slips of information. I paid via Paypal, so to be fair she could have accessed by address if she really wanted, but that is it.

Let’s see my reply. (Please understand that this is me being incredibly transparent and open. If you don’t believe in this stuff or you wanna hate on me for any reason then that is fine, but I don’t have room in my life for negativity so you can just go ahead and jog on and save the nastiness for someone who’ll react)

Love life is jumping all over my DESK so will deal with that first!

Please accept I am very honest and frank so I hope you can appreciate I say it like it is……

Your heart is in KNOTS at moment and has been for the last 5 to 7 weeks over this lover going and then gone. Oh yes, so majorly!

Your emotions are so rocking the boat in an emotional ocean as this has and is one unusual love affair

I believe you have done the “if you love em set them free” thing but didn’t realise how much it would effect you till she was gone! Never a truer word has been spoken! I had no idea how hard it would be to actually let her go.

I dont think it’s over and try not to chase, plead or beg for a reconciliation like we can do because you seem to be wanting a pound of flesh or something deeply true and powerful to your emotional intense feelings. No, I’m not going to do this. It would only fuck with my head and it’s not a fair position to put Miss Jones in.

..lots of deep breaths as its not over in fact I see you getting a huge surprise as she re enters your life. It would be a huge surprise, I don’t really expect it.

You are right only reason it ended was because she moved away so let her return naturally…dont think it will be too far away perhaps five weeks. Every intention of letting her return naturally, not going to focus much on the five week thing as it has the potential to crush me. Although, in five weeks it’s my birthday so, you know, that’s all I’m saying…

Without been too personal ,the love making and depth of intimacy in this relationship was breathtaking and very powerful and union of beyond the flesh as well! ….Yeah, we did OK. I cannot say anymore, I am a lady

I see a trip and feel like you will zooming off to meet close to xmas I am unsure whether you go to London or catch up in Singapore or Kong Hong or Bali. Yeah, considering my bank account is in double digits again I’m not sure this is gonna happen, but I’ll never say never. I’d defs be UP for a holiday!

Hopefully you know what I mean, it’s a in between place and a clean vibrant luxury country.

For some reason I also get a strong connection with Perth around you????? BEST! And Jac! Because in my mind, all of W.A is Perth (See, this is a random thing, it’d be pretty bad odds to just pick and place and claim some connection to it, so this makes me feel good about her)

OK, about your business

You are very hard working and extremely honest in fact some people you will come across wont be so loyal, hard working or honest so be prepared, feels more like customers or fickle contacts than workers in your plan! Awww, yay! I’m glad these traits came up!

I see 28K important figure not sure if this is your financial investment to set up but its an important figure. LOL! I think my “investment” was closer to $28. If this is like a profit for my first year or something, excuse me while I weep with fucking joy!!

I am now looking at a MALL down a narrow street as important around you and lots of little cafes there but also feel its drafty and signs get blown over all the time and I am seeing girls in pinafores forever out picking them up and tables falling over…hahahha! Sounds like Melbourne, but also Freo or maybe Wooloongabba. The setting sounds a lot like a place I would be very happy to set up shop!

Still not sure just what your business is but I want to say its a niche IDEA or market. I’d like to think it’s relatively niche-y.

Give yourself 9 weeks before you totally assess it and ultimately you are onto a winner. 9 weeks, can do!

If you can do this business out of your home for a while even BETTER as I get great success working from home. Fantastic, because I sure as hell can’t afford to work from anyplace else just now!

Also a man will be very important to what you seek to do he could be a silent partner or offer financial investment., could be a dad or brother now I think about it. Can’t say I’d expect D’Daddy or D’Brother to shell out any large amounts of money on my business, but you never know??

I feel this business needs to be in a family name or trust and you are working on trying to protect the idea and your investment not to mention your work Not so much worried about the investment and such, but the stealing of the name and idea is something I am paranoid about.

You are naturally very psychic and soon become many things to many people who will seek you out so if this concept has anything to do with spiritual or fade ideas all the better. Mmmm, I’m hesitant to say I’m psychic but I just know a bunch of stuff. I’m happy being many things to many people, being useful is something I really, truly love.

I do get one word of warning please be very up front with every customer about fees and prices before you start otherwise you could get taken for a ride or feel short changed. Point taken.

Remember the old saying their is no friends in businesses well than is true because they will want or expect things for nothing and you are going into business to make a profit. So true, and this is something I am terrible at. I always give away or severely undercharge for my work. It stops me from making money.

Could you relate to me saying I feel you have done this before or in your past even the huge past life connection. Yes, have done this several times before but this time I’m trying to do it RIGHT.

You are going to be very busy in next month to hit some xmas sales or promotional opportunities and one will come through media or radio that is a HUGE marketing opportunity for little or NOT cost to you! Ready and waiting, so ready for the challenge!

I am seeing dogs around you too like grey hounds that go to races not sure what that is about but they are there!!!! Weeeee, puppies. I saw a greyhound being walked this morning, does that count…?

OK, this business is good and last 2 weeks may have been slow but get prepared for an upward swing in performance and success. Fantastic, for the last two weeks I’ve been working my ass off preparing for the launch tomorrow.

You are also going to spend first hour of your day working on become a better financial negotiator or making executive decisions among every thing you do and provide as very professional. This is all stuff I really need to do.

Money will come in from a business of your own and you will be very very happy long term so work on this dream as its a pearla!!!! I hope so, that is the plan and I so want it to work!

I have no reason to tell you otherwise and would tell you when and if I saw it crumbling

…Hope this helps, throw your passion and heart into this NOW!!

You will be thankful for a gift of money and food just when you need it You mean I might be able to afford my CC payment??

also …get ready for a call from your lover as she does care for you a great deal and will show and tell you so… LOL, I have only skyped with Miss Jones once since she’s been gone, so I won’t hold my breath. She did send me an amazing FB message the other day which totally made my week.

She has also got a gift for you I feel she has found something purchased it and wants you to have it. Presents are awesome, but I’m not sure about this either. Miss Jones doesn’t really do presents?

Eventually you will need to MOVE as this business will out grow you current accommodation so it seems like you can run it from home for a while them, Whamo you are going to need a new or BIGGER premises. THIS is my absolute dream, to get big enough to warrant some sort of studio space or the like.

A good confirmation also is someone is going to seek YOU out and may come right to your door to inquire about your services so ….yippee! Hells yes, yippee indeed!

Ask every client to recommend JUST one client …

I see the colour red as important could be in branding and also the garden

I feel you throwing yourself in planting new little seedlings even if just around window boxes or a home garden. We have a veggie garden that I look after every day! I was going to plant carrot seedlings in the next few days!

Please dont WORRY nor work 24/7 in your business have balance so that you have fun love and laughter till your lover returns!!! I like that the “worry” is in caps, she knows me!! Also the 24/7 thing because I have been eating, sleeping and breathing the shop at the moment.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for it!!!!

So yeah, that’s it. I like that it wasn’t all “yeah, things will go well for you and you will be happy”. It was specific, relevant and meaningful.  I am incredibly happy with her words, I’m prepared to do all the work I need to do to make this business rock and it has made me feel a thousand times more confident about things. I’m not going to pencil five weeks into my planner and wait at the airport for Miss Jones, but wild horses couldn’t keep me away if she was to return to Bris-Vegas. As she said before she left “We will be together when we are together and apart when we are apart”, that makes sense for me.

So I know some of you are probably salivating over this and desperate for your own slice of magic pie! Fear not, I asked Joycelle and she’s happy for me to recommend her to my friends. She asked that you email her for the exact details on how to go about things, and her prices and things. She’s being hammered by people from Gala’s site but she asked if you could mention me “Jen Somewhere” in your email, so she’ll know who is who (because you lot are awesome!).

Thoughts and feelings?? I am positively radiating glee and happiness and excitement at the moment, I feel like it’s dripping from more pores! I can’t wait to Aura-Soma with her as soon as I can afford to (roll on 28k!!)

Right, so as I said, I’ll discuss why I think I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or something else equally messed up happening in my head.

For the last couple of months, at least a couple of times a week since I left my last teaching job, I’ve been having nightmares. Not your average nightmares with monsters or being chased or anything, nightmares about my bosses in Japan. In the dreams I am always trapped and I have to try and escape. I always have to find the words that will allow me to get out of the school without them doing anything to me or hurting me so I can be free. I always have to be very sweet and nice and kind of trick them into getting out the front door without making them overly angry so they don’t try and get me. The night I quit is still incredibly vivid and played out the same way as the dream always do, I just wanted to find the words so I could get out the door without being hit. He’d never hit me personally, but he had hit the kids and his own family so I have little doubt he would have hit the staff if he felt the need.

Every time I have these dreams I get incredibly stressed and incredibly nervous. I’ve started sleeping with my jaws and fists clenched again (something that I stopped doing when the brain candy kicked in) and I’m averaging about five hours of sleep a night nowadays when I used to get eight hours without even trying.

I knew the job (or the bosses rather) stressed me out a huge amount, but I didn’t realise how much it affected me. I still worry that they will have somehow found me in Australia and have come back to get some sort of revenge. I often dream that after I manage to quit school and go back to my apartment they are waiting there for me. It’s not as far fetched as it sounds, they were both incredibly angry and vindictive people when they chose to be, and he in particular could be quite heavy handed, even violent at times. I won’t for a second deny that I was and am still terrified of them.

I don’t know why the dreams have become so frequent. I’ve had them ever since I did really quit, but they weren’t too often – maybe once every few weeks, never several times a week like now. I almost go to sleep now preparing for a terrible night’s sleep and wondering in what circumstances the dream will play out tonight. I suppose it might have something to do with me having lost a huge amount of self confidence in my last job, so now I don’t feel capable of dealing with a situation?  Maybe starting a business that is so intrinsically tied to my self-confidence (which is lacking at the moment) has opened the floodgates for past anxieties? Maybe Miss Jones leaving has just upset the teetering apple cart that is my sanity a little too much and now random fears are flooding back? In addition, I’m also having a falling dream at least once a night,and I just looked and found it’s a common indication of insecurities and anxiety, awesome. Whatever it is, it’s not fun. I’m sick of being tired all the time and waking up with a knot in my stomach.

Thoughts and feelings?? Anyone else ever had a real life event play out over and over again in your dream? How did you fix it?

I had a conversation that was long overdue this morning. The feelings and thoughts that have been gnawing at me for a few weeks now have settled. I wouldn’t be surprised if I can start sleeping properly again.

Before I go on, let me explain something first:

Lesbians are dramatic, anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is lying. Of course there are some of us who are less work than others, but on the whole we are a passionate people. When two lesbians meet, your immediately have to work out whether or not you’d sleep with the other party. If the answer is no then you can go about being BFF and everything is gravy*. If the answer ranges from “Maybe if I was kinda tipsy” to “Hellz yes, let me unzip my jeans right now”, then shit is gonna get complex. If it’s towards the higher end of the spectrum you will either a) hook up, realize that you didn’t want to and then shit will go back to normal b) hook up, fall madly in love and end up moving in together and adopting a puppy in 6 months c) hook up, bicker, have a wicked scrag fight, bitch about the other party to your friends, hook up again when you are both tipsy, rinse and repeat or d)Let the mutual interest bubble away for however long until it becomes clear one party is more invested and then you get to go the unrequited love route, or a/b/c happens.

* Or things will be perpetually strange and weird for the entirity of your friendship, although that is rare.

So Miss Jones has kinda met someone. I won’t lie, it felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I first found out. I dealt with it fantastically by crying a bunch and becoming a snarky, passive-aggressive bitch whenever I spoke to her. It wasn’t even so much the meeting someone that bothered me, I knew it was bound to happen, it was the time that it happened that got to me.

She’s been gone about a month and I’ve only known for a couple of weeks that it was certain she wasn’t coming home. I know from being OS that a month away from home feels like six months and so many things happen so fast, but to everyone at home a month is just four weeks of doing the same shit as you’ve always done. So that made me appreciate the situation a bit more. Miss Jones also explained that she has to meet people because she knows no one. Although I didn’t and still don’t want her to ever justify her actions to me, but that was a really good point. I don’t want her to sit in her room and be miserable, I want her to have a good time. I know from knowing a bunch of lesbians that when you meet new girls, it’s inevitable that someone is gonna fall for someone else.

Just for some added mental anguish I recently convinced myself that the entire time we were together than she was actually unhappy and was glad to be rid of me and free to see other people. I needed to explain this to her because it’s what had been eating at me for a week now. Because she is lovely, Miss Jones assured me that it was not the case and that she enjoyed our time together. Is there even anything better that you could ask for after a relationship ends? I don’t want her to sit and pine for me (I do enough of that for both of us ), I don’t want to create drama now that makes her glad she is rid of me, I just really wanted to lay my cards on the table so things don’t start to get bottled up.

Coming back was mentioned and the idea that I won’t be waiting for her if she does. It’s true, I’m not waiting. But I am also not not waiting. If someone comes along I won’t be turning down an opportunity to be happy with someone else for the sake of Miss Jones, and I wouldn’t want her to do that either. But if she does come back, and does want to see how things go again, I can’t say I wouldn’t try it. I so wanted to be the pious bitch who would tell her to fuck off for passing up the chance for happily ever after with me once before, but I don’t even mean that in the slightest. I totally get why she went away, I did the exact same thing. I don’t even have any feelings of bitterness anymore now that the air has been cleared, I understand why she is doing what she is doing and ultimately I want her to be happy, regardless of whether I am a part of that so when you have no feelings of ill will, it is very hard to try and be bitchy about stuff.

If she was to come back, I feel I would forever regret the opportunity to see where things might have gone. I still have a feeling of unfinished business. Not in the “You killed my father, and now I will murder your family to avenge his death” way, but more like if you were playing mini golf and it started raining so you had to finish early. It won’t be the same game you would have played if you didn’t stop, but there is every chance you can still have a good time once you started again.

I feel so much better about things. Even though nothing has changed I really needed to get those ideas out of my head and I so appreciate Miss Jones explaining her side of stuff to me. I finally feel like I have had the right amount of closure on this now that I can move on without looking back but not so much closure that I’m glad it’s just over and I’m left with a bad taste in my mouth. I love her, but I am not in love with her anymore. Things are good.

Next post? I’m pretty sure I’ve got post-traumatic stress disorder from working in Japan. Fun times.

• Allow me to gush for a moment. I won a new digital camera yesterday!! Samsung has a competition on Twitter where everyday they give away one of their new ST500 cameras, they have little challenges or photo comps and then they choose the fastest reply or the best photo and that person wins a camera. Yesterday, that person was ME! I really wanted a new digital camera, and tried on two other days to win and missed out but yesterday I cracked it! How? Well…they were looking for the funniest picture. All I can say is that the fingerstache just paid for itself! I’ll let you know when it arrives! (If you want to try and win, follow #samsungcapture and play!)

• Winning shit is awesome. I so wanted a new camera to do photos for my online store, but the concept of “wanting” is pretty much pointless when you are living as a starving artist. This has made such a big difference! I am so thankful to have won. Now I just need to find some way to “win” the minimum payment on my credit card…

• I got my septum pierced the other day. Reactions have ranged from absolute horror (D’Olds) to truly liking it (friends). I like it, I don’t think it’s glaringly obvious and I have a little nose and a pretty symmetrical face, so it works. It’s healing really beautifully, far better than previous nostril piercings have done, I suspect that the piercing might be as motivated by spite as I am. What do you think? The photo is from me fucking around with Photobooth the other day, I am often slightly more attractive than this picture shows.

• I’m madly making stock so I can open my online store really soon. I was planning to do some photos the day after tomorrow but I think I’ll wait until the new camera arrives, which means I’ve got a few more days to get some more stuff made. I’ll link when it’s officially open. I am feeling pretty chuffed with it, I’ve got some stuff left over from the last time I sold online but also a bunch of new goodies. I expect to be rich and/or famous by Christmas!

• Bootcamp starts again next week. I’ve been off for a month now so I am pretty terrified of how much fitness I will have lost in that time (but not so terrified I’ve been running during my time off). I had some hip pain for a while and it was worse after the Bridge to Brisbane so I saw a chiro to get straightened out (lolz, straightened out). I feel heaps better after only one session – I need to go get x-rays before my next visit, one leg is slightly longer than the other, my shoulders are frozen up like ice and I had so many cracks waiting to come out from all up my back, but that will all get sorted. She also recommended a good massage to loosen everything up, but the idea of being touched by a stranger makes me tense up, so I’m not sure how that would go?

Hello, [Hi, just a note for next time. When you offer someone 19 million dollars you should probably address the email using their full name]

I am Kun Chun, a permissible practitioner. [Wouldn't you call yourself a lawyer, or an attorney or something? Permissible Practitioner makes you sound dodgy]A departed patron of mine, that shares the same last name as yours, died as a consequence of a heart correlated situation on January 12th 2005 [It took over five years to get in contact with me?! Does a permissible practitioner really get that much work!? Also, I've got a pretty Caucasian last name, I suspect there isn't many people, much less entire families, who share my same last name]. His heart situation was due to the passing away of all the members of his family in the tsunami catastrophe on the 26th December2004 in Sumatra Indonesia. [I can see how that would affect a person] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake [How thoughtful to include wiki entry for me, this makes me reassured they are legit]

I am contacting you to request your permission to present you as the recipient to my late patron. He has a deposit of (US$19,000,000). [I have concerns with this, not least of all is the fact I am not even a "he". I feel this will make the task difficult]

This will be accomplished under a justifiable pact that will shield you against any permissible implication. [A pact?! Why don't we just go ahead and pinky swear on it?] If this dealing suggestion affronts your ethical principles, do acknowledge my request for forgiveness.[Note that he doesn't give you an out should it affront your ethical principles, he just apologizes for it]

I can be reached on: kunchun2@gmail.com

Kun Chun.

Attorney At Law.

[Why not just call yourself that in the first place]

This is one of the better spam emails I’ve been sent. It’s relativity coherent, not glaring spelling or grammar error and bonus points for not being somehow related to a Nigerian prince. I do appreciate the unique ideas, sharing the same last name? Tsunami related? Nice work.

I’m was almost tempted to email back…then I remembered I don’t give a shit.

Happy Monday!!

I’m searching for jobs at the moment and the vast majority of them require experience in whatever field the job is in. How do you get experience if no one will hire you because you are inexperienced?? The only jobs that seem to be entirely unconcerned with experienced staff are those which require you to “model” wearing the barest of minimums when it comes to clothing, fund raising minions who hassle people on the streets or outbound phone jockeys. I am not especially interested in pursuing any of those opportunities.

Granted, I am a trained and qualified teacher but surely some of these skills and the ones I picked up while at uni could be considered transferrable to other industries??

1) I’ve dealt with some truly shitty parents, including the one who threatened to wait for me in the car park because I dared to reprimand her child who had shoved someone else off the flying fox because she wanted a turn*. Surely this makes me, in some small way, able to bring a degree of problem solving and conflict resolution to the table. *I can say I have this skill because I was not beaten in the carpark. Problem = solved.

2) I’ve been at uni for eight years, all together. I can create the SHIT out of a range of documents.

3) I teach children, that’s team working right there. Anyone who thinks the kids do what teachers want is sadly mistaken. Any teacher knows that it’s all about working together.

4) I was a phone jockey at an insurance company for two years. I can handle phonecalls.

5) And high volume data entry.

6) And file management.

It seems like I am painfully unsuitable for almost all shit-kicking admin type jobs out there. I don’t even want something full time! I understand the job market is absolutely flooded at the moment and now employers are able to actually choose experienced and qualified staff for even the most mundane positions, but really, there is nothing out there I can do aside from teaching??

Let’s hope that when I launch my web store and start doing markets that I become wildly successful and then this whole bother with requiring an alternative source of income will just fade away. Alternatively I’ll happy write for money or simply just get paid to be awesome. Any or all of those options would just be gravy.

Once again I am back on my sunny home shores. Arriving in Brisbane is just awesome, being able to walk outside and immediately suck in some Vitamin D, it’s magic!

I return with a new sense of purpose and direction, a fat belly and a tan (curiously enough). Turns out taking two weeks off boot camp to piss off overseas where you eat a steady diet of whatever the fuck you please makes you feel, and look, chubby. Boot camp resumes for me on Monday, so hopefully my new spare tyre won’t last long. I also don’t have the junk food/ chocolate on tap like I had when we were away so by default I will be eating better. Not to worry, it feels like maybe two kilos so it’s not like I need to be fork-lifted out of the house or anything, so you know, silver lining right there.

My other goal for the moment is to get my online store up and running as soon as possible. I’m aiming to keep the stuff online as the stuff I have in multiples and the stuff at my stall the “one offs”. The stuff online is hardly going to be mass produced – seeing as 1) I make it all myself 2) I only use materials I get in very limited quantities so a production line is really nothing I am capable of alone, the biggest run of things I have at the moment is eight items. It just makes maintaining stock levels and listing items so much easier. When you’ve only gotta spread shit out on a table, then it doesn’t matter if everything is unique because they don’t all have to be photographed, captioned, described and tagged. Plus, I need to have a bit of an incentive for people to come see me and buy my stuff (aside from the opportunity to bask in my glorious presence, of course). Be patient, chickens, I hope to splash a well stocked website all over you by the end of next week.

Yesterday:

• Great jeans
• Eat in Pizza Hut
• Step Brothers on the hotel movie channel
• Africa on the radio

Today:

• Wearing aforementioned jeans
• Good hair
• Going to a surprisingly awesome Prawn Farm.
• Coconut Rough chocolate
• Finding an amazing bead store in Napier
• Napier itself, I could move here tomorrow
• Getting the new schedule for BootCamp

Rather than dwell on the crapness of things, I’m just going to focus my time and energy on the good shit. I do believe in self fulfilling prophecies so the more I think about the crap that is happening, the more it will happen. I watched a Tony Robbinson clip that my trainer sent to me and it’s all about how if you want something and do everything in your power to make it happen, chances are it will work, when it works you feel all chuffed and believe you can do stuff and it just becomes this cycle of positive action.

It’s not even airy, fairy hippy bullshit – If you think you can pass an exam and study heaps and then you do pass, you think “Fuck yeah, that was awesome! I’m gonna go study more, I can totally do this”. If you don’t really think you can, you don’t really study to hard because it all feels pointless and then you fail. You assume you are crap at everything because you fail and never bother trying stuff again. I know it happens, I’ve lived it for years. Now, I’m going to create a positive cycle and manifest great things, I don’t want mediocrity anymore.

I saw a t-shirt the other day that said “One day they’ll make a movie about me”. Remember those words, kittens.

This arvo, after some mandatory family fun times, I got to do some shopping (and thusly recharge my sanity). The Warehouse at home is like a really shitty variety store. Like Crazy Clarks or something, except in my experiences stuff from The Warehouse is usually broken, has bits missing or has been interfered with by small children. Aside from like some cheap and nasty Christmas decoration, I don’t usually buy anything from that store.

In New Zealand, however, it seems to be a fairly decent variety store, kinda like KMart. It has clothes and shoes and makeup and jewellery, none of the stuff is stocks back at home. Anyhoo, I looked in there today and they had some nice looking jeans. They were super cheap so I decided to try them on and……perfection. Everything I could want in a pair of jeans and then some. Really nice wash, super long legs, fit beautifully and for like $35. Epic win!! I bought two pairs because it’s not everyday you find great jeans.

I am choosing to see this as a sign that my luck is changing. Any girl knows how rare finding great jeans is, so I am not going to downplay the significance of this act.

On a side note, clothing in the stores I’ve been to so far stock an amazing range of sizes! From 8 to 28!! In Australia most “normal” shops stock up to a 16 or 18, even plus size shops stop at about a 24, I’d guess. So 28 in a regular store is just amazing, I was looking through racks and had trouble finding things that were small enough for me! You could not have self esteem issues if you lived here, there would always be clothes to fit into!

As I anticipated, Miss Jones is not coming back.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. I’ve been trying to prepare myself for that outcome, but I guess I was never going to quite believe it until she told me.

It’s balls. It’s good if you are Miss Jones, but I’m not, so I don’t like it.Yes, selfish, but I don’t even care. It fucking sucks, I am sick of this shitty luck and the people I love leaving. Why? Why don’t I deserve to have my people around me?