Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

I first started blogging in April of 2006. Seeing as it’s now November in 2009, that is about three and a half years of blogging. For a while there I was a post-a-day blogger so it really adds up to be mind boggling amount of my life that has been plastered over the internet.

The blogsphere has changed to much in that time. All of the bloggers who were around when I first started have almost all dropped off the radar. Many of the bloggers I used to read (or still do read) are no longer anonymous writers but are people I count as some of my closest friends. I’ve been published in a book, referenced in assignments, and told you the stories of my day to day life, however insignifcant or mundane.

For the last couple of weeks I was seriously considering walking away from this. Surely, at 26, now I should be doing something more worthwhile. No one will want to read my shit anymore, right? This morning when I logged into WordPress for the first time in weeks, and checked my stats for the first time in many months, I was surprised to see my hits. I get between 50 -70 hits a day. I know for most bloggers that number would hardly be an incentive to open their laptops, but that number blows me away. I’ve had my glory days of a couple hundred hits a day but I truly believed that no one aside fom Jac (whom I speak to at least every couple of days) and Miss Jones (whom I don’t catch online often) checked the blog anymore.

I think in the last few months I have been sliding into a rut. I thought I had sorted it all out a couple weeks ago but that was hugely premature.  Nothing is massively wrong, but nothing is right either. After a great first couple of weeks, I’ve let my store go to shit, I gave up bootcamp because it was making me unhappy but haven’t replaced it with anything else yet, I’ve been wasting a massive amount of time online because it seemed far too difficult to do anything worthwhile.

I’m gonna apply for uni next year. Back as an undergraduate to do creative industries majoring in fashion with a minor in creative and professional writing. Might also combine it with a Bachelor of Business. It will be useful for my business to do these things, and I’ve just always wanted to, so why not, right? I’m gonna get my business back on track and start creating again. Not making stuff makes me fee bad, and when I feel bad I can’t create things but I’m just gonna start off and make some shit stuff until I get my flow back. Gonna sort out what I am eating too. I have become super lazy and I’m not eating well or properly and it makes me feel like shit and when I feel like shit I don’t want to be bothered to do anything. If I eat lots of carbs or dairy my tummy bloats and I feel ugly so that doesn’t help anything either. I’m just kind of stuck in a cycle of feeling bad, doing things that don’t make me feel any better because I can’t be bothered to do anything else and thus feeling worse.

So yeah, I’m just gonna get back on track. I know shit won’t sort itself in a week, but one foot in front of the other in the right direction is better than doing nothing. Not sure what the point of this post was really? I suppose it was just a check in, for me and anyone else who checks by here. I know stuff has been shit, it’s also been shit off the blog as well so it’s not just this that has suffered, but I’m trying to get stuff back on track.

Bear with me.